Ring In The New Year With A Little Recap

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: mashup release time! There are three artists who do year-end mashups that I look forward to, and now that they’ve all released their goods and I've had time to let the songs and videos sink in, it's time to rank them!

3. DJ Earworm United State of Pop

• Without a doubt the most well-known of the year-end mashup DJs, and I enjoy that Earworm attempts to rework the lyrics into a completely new song, and the video into something brand new. Since he’s from the UK, sometimes I don’t know all of the songs he uses, but nonetheless his skill in changing tempos at the drop of a hat is always impressive. Unfortunately I found this year's creation a little boring.

2. Mashup Germany Top of the Pops 2013

• Despite the random German songs that inevitably get thrown into these mashups, I still really enjoy how they are crafted year after year, well meshed and without excessive complication. Honestly, the random German songs are refreshing! This is a very nice mix, very nice video, my only complaint is that I haaaaate "Hey Brother" by Avicii and it's the main track in this mashup.

3. Pop Danthology 2013

• Daniel Kim is Canadian so he usually picks songs that are specifically popular in my part of the world, which I deeply appreciate. He’s dropped some killer combos in this mix, I particularly like the music for Gaga’s “Applause” mixed with the vocals for Zedd’s “Clarity”. Also, he mashed the vocals for Selena Gomez’s “Come And Get It” with the Harlem Shake, amazing. My favourite this year, the video just blows me away with its accuracy and effectiveness. However, I'm sad to say that this is actually the worst of his mashups, but that's no fault of Daniel's, it's just that music this year sucked. :P

Review – Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Full disclosure: I only read the first Hunger games book and the first third of Catching Fire (it was a pdf copy and I just couldn’t continue). But I’ve read the synopsis on Wikipedia so I know the major deaths/outcomes and conclusion. I am NOT ready for that terrible terrible death that happens in Mockingjay. D:

Katniss was always cool, we all know that, but this was the movie that made me really adore her. Katniss is everything teenaged me would have wanted to be, and everything that adult me realizes I could never be. She is a rule breaker, the girl who doesn’t smile when you ask her to unless it serves her purpose, confused and bold, impassioned behind a mask of ice. But beyond all that, she is powerful and competent and a threat. Her actions, no matter how insignificant, can topple an empire. She is the unwilling metaphor who did not wish for the future she was given, but love and family thrust her down a path she could have never predicted.

The only times I ever teared up in the movie were the parts with Cinna and Effie. Oh my gosh Cinna, Kravitz is like a beacon of pure sanity in these movies, there is nothing I do not like about him. I love that he used fashion to stick it to the empire, even though it cost him in the end. But I get the feeling he knew what he was doing when he took that chance with Katniss’ dress. And Effie, oh my gosh Effie, I totally bawled every time she was like “we’re a TEAM and I will bedeck the TEAM so help me god”, like, bless your heart my dear, you love your bb victors so damn much and she was SO NOT COOL with the Quarterquell.

When I first started getting into the Hunger Games series, I was massively on Team Gale because I wanted Katniss to be with someone she had already felt longterm friendship/affection for, not someone the system had coerced her into pretending to love. But then I read what happened in Mockingjay and, well, as my Chinese coworker said, “he went all communist by the end, ugh.” But Peeta definitely is growing on me, especially once I read all the articles about how the Peeta/Katniss relationship is basically gender-flipped tropes. Peeta is compassionate and emotional and bakes bread and Katniss has to save his ass all the time? Beautiful. I am NOT ready to watch what happens to him in Mockingjay.

But I found it interesting that compared to the books, they definitely tweaked how Katniss felt about both Peeta and Gale. In the books she’s very “how the hell should I know what love is?” but in the movies she’s more like “you’re both lovely but now is not the time dammit!”

I do wonder though, what the heck the rest of the world is thinking while shit goes down in Panem. Like, I guess Panem gave the United Nations the middle finger or something? And, like, China and Indian are just watching from afar and shaking their heads while curing cancer and sending space missions to Mars? And do Canadians download illegal bootlegs of the Hunger Games and watch it going “wtf eh?” NEW HEADCANNON.

But seriously though am I the only one weirded out by the lack of Asian people in the Hunger Games movies? It’s not the best series diversity-wise. Hell, they even upped the ante with a “token black district”. :P

Nestlé: Crappy Chocolate, Even Crappier Globalized Marketing

Source:

At the World Water Forum in 2000, Nestlé led the way in fighting against defining access to water a universal right. Nestlé and other big corporations won out, and government officials around the globe officially downgraded water’s classification to a "need" instead.

WHAT THE HELL. I knew Nestlé was full of shenanigans when I heard they aggressively market baby formula to poor women in lesser developed countries when it’s not really effective nutrition(here’s a good article that gets into that particular issue), but this is just ridic. People can survive 1-3 weeks on starvation but only ~3 days with dehydration! People have a RIGHT to water.

Pre-Hogwarts Premonition!

When I was a teenager, I somehow acquired a CD with a Tchaikovsky compilation on it: Swan Lake, The Nutcracker, and Sleeping Beauty. Let me tell you, if that CD had been a record I would have wore the grooves out, haha. I liked listening to music for an hour or so before bed and that CD was one of my favourites, especially the Nutcracker songs, I basically memorized every song. One night, I listened to the full Nutcracker Suite and drifted off to sleep right after, and had a dream that my high school decided to organize a ball during Christmas, and all the girls dressed up in huge Victorian hoop dresses with lots of ribbons and tulle and satin. Mine was a pale blue, like Cinderella’s gown in the Disney movie. I remember in the dream we had to dance to Tchaikovsky’s “Waltz of the Flowers” and I was freaked because I didn’t actually know how to waltz but managed to get through it anyway.

I just remembered this dream today and thought: “Wait... isn’t that basically the Yule Ball from the Harry Potter books?!” I DREAMED IT FIRST! :P

Meanwhile On The Twitters

BBM for iPhone Is Terrible: Reasons Why

1. When someone sends a message, I get duplicate notifications in the lock screen.
2. Every time I enter a chat, the screen automatically defaults to show the keyboard, leaving me barely any room to actually read the conversation above.
3. You can’t add photos within the flow of conversation in a group chat, it has to go in a separate area.

I know it’s only 3 reasons, but that’s 3 reasons more than WhatsApp. Screw this inferior product! The iOS version needs some serious work to win my love.

Review – Thor 2: The Dark World (Spoilers!)

When I came in to work this morning, I announced that I had seen Thor 2 the day before. Immediately, the coworkers around me mentioned that they loved the Thor series because LOKI and omg isn’t Loki awesome? I, on the other hand, have never much fallen into the fangirl/fanboy spell Loki seems to cast upon its watchers. I watch Thor for THOR and his bulging biceps and chistled jaw.

But Thor 2? Well, okay, I see it now. Loki is kind of amazing in this movie.

I truly enjoyed this movie, it was the perfect blend of action, mythology, comedy, and tragedy all rolled into one. Some random thoughts I’d like to share:

1. I’ve often said that I’m sick of movies with massive casual first world genocide while the hero and villain battle it out (see: Star Trek, Superman, etc.) and thankfully Thor didn’t fall into this trap with destroying thousands of innocent Londoners. The trade-off, I suppose, is that a shitload of Asgardians died, bringing me to point two...
2. OMFG killing Frigga, I... ugh. She was so badass fighting Malekith and then they fridged her to increase Loki’s manpain? Wah. Also, I know too much of actual Norse mythology not to be irritated by it, she’s one of the most important Norse gods! That being said, the funeral scene was one of the prettiest scenes ever (and gave me mad Game of Thrones feels, haha). Speaking of manpain...
3. Yeah, I totally fell for Loki’s manpain. I know, I know, it was all a massive gambit in the end. But dude, he really did love Frigga. When Thor made him drop his illusion in the dungeon and he was all broken and in despair... so woobie omg. And when he tells Thor he didn’t sacrifice his life for him, you know every step he has taken was not all for his long con, he wanted vengeance for his mother as well.
4. Can we talk about Jane for a bit? Actually, can we talk about Aether Jane for a bit? I honestly thought that they were foreshadowing that she was going to go evil, with the black eyeballs and the electric blue irises and visions of destruction she was having. Now THAT would have rocked my world a little bit. It’s the only real disappointment I have, but nothing a little fanfic won’t fix. ;)
5. It was nice to see Selvig and Darcy again. Selvig was especially hilarious with his aversion to pants. BRO, I know that feel. Also kinda hilarious-awesome was Loki pretending to be Captain America. “Let’s have a discussion about truth and justice!” LOL.
6. Since I am a massive appreciator of Thor, I would like to squee about him a bit. OMG SQUEE! Hooray for his shirtless scene! And he’s just so straight-forward and earnest and adorable. I laughed so hard when he had to take the Tube back to Greenwich and the woman was all “oops the subway shifted and I had to fall against your rugged manly chest, sorry!” I’d do the same thing haha.
7. I loved that most of the movie took place in Asgard, and I was quite impressed how they managed to make Asgard both timelessly ancient but technologically powerful as well. It’s like... by virtue of being part of the Marvel universe, they need to tread that science fiction line despite the fact that we’re dealing with ancient gods here.
8. I just KNEW this whole mythology is building up to the Infinity Gauntlet. All this talk about stones and we’ve already seen Thanos, eeeee can’t wait! On the other hand, all this Guardians of the Galaxy business looks terrible. As the guy sitting next to me in the theatre said, “I don’t want to watch a movie with a talking raccoon in it.” FOR REAL BRO.
9. I dunno guys, for some reason I got major OT3 feels when it was just Thor and Loki taking Jane to Malekith. Like, I would be completely satisfied with a movie just was just the three of them slogging through some godforsaken land while Loki snarks and Thor beats things up and Jane figures shit out. LOL sounds like one of those last Harry Potter movies.
10. Overall impression: solid movie with action, humour, and just enough complexity to make you salivate for a sequel!

Rating: 8.5/10

Six Reasons Why Living On Your Own Sucks

1. You can only ever carry two arms worth of groceries at a time.

2. No one to help zip you up in the back.

3. It's just you versus the spiders/wasps/centipedes/etc.

4. Can't get a second opinion on whether your outfit clashes or not.

5. "God I'm so sick I can barely move. Too bad that chicken soup won't make itself."

6. Minimum motivation to unf**k your habitat. Why clean when no one’s there to see it but you?

Sci-Fi Movie Plot, Patent Pending

I do all of my best thinking right before I fall asleep. Last night, my train of thought was this:

One day, instead of smartphones we will all have chips embedded in the base of our necks that will connect us to the internet and allow us to control our homes and computers with our brains. But we’ll still be subject to privacy issues, but instead of Google using your words and image to sell products, they will use your thoughts and dreams to fund new movies and books, and you won’t be able to do a thing when they profit from your creativity because you waived all rights away when you agreed to their cumbersome Terms and Conditions.

Email Blunders

I see it time and time again; someone says something offensive, insulting, racist, sexist, etc. in an email that somehow gets sent beyond its intended recipient. And inevitably, the author of this terrible email admits they goofed... by being careless with email.

NOPE YOU GOOFED WHEN YOU BECAME A DOUCHE.

Seriously, I hate hate haaaaaate it when bad behaviour is exposed through email and the message is basically “your mistake was exposing your true colours”. Not that the fact of the matter is YOUR TRUE COLOURS ARE THE COLOURS OF CAT PUKE AND BABY POO.

Make people accountable not only for their actions, but for their beliefs as well.

Treat Yo’self

This Friday I have a vacation day and I decided that since my budget isn’t looking too bad, I’d treat myself to a trip to... the 2013 Fall Creativ festival!



I just know I’m going to end up running around like a kid in a candy store. There’s gonna be yarn, sewing machines, rubber stamps, cardstock, buttons and doodads and notions, even Wow Wow Nails, the exclusive Toronto dealer for Konad nail art stamping plates, is going to be there!

My poor wallet, LOL. But it’s okay, my budget is rock solid for this month. Hell, I’ll probably still have enough money at the end of October to buy the paperback version of A Dance With Dragons. Winter is COMING y’all. ;D

A Funny Thing Happened On The Twitters

I really liked Jamie Oliver back before he decided to get on his soapbox, now I find him just meh. His heart is in the right place but (to get all Tumblr up in here) he needs to check his privilege.

C.S. Lewis Is A Life Ruiner

So I’ve finished all of the Narnia books and I have to say... that last one left a really bad taste in my mouth. The basic summary goes thusly: everything is weird and goes to shit, plus Susan is barred from heaven for no real reason. Seriously, I feel like Lewis crapped all over what could have been a joyous and happy moment by excluding her from the final novel, for... what, really? Punished her for liking girly things? Seriously?? Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest sister in my family, but it felt a bit like a slap in the face.

Also, the last novel had a lot more Calormene evilness in it, and that shit was just way too racist for me to handle. It was bad enough to deal with in The Horse and His Boy but, like, really? The entire series we only ever meet TWO Calmormenes who are not terrible people: Aravis and Emeth. And yes, I get it, they’re the Bad Guys, but to make them so heavy-handedly “eastern” and I DON’T CARE, “DARKIE” IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE NICKNAME EVER.

Sigh.

It’s just too bad, really. I enjoyed the first two books and adored Voyage. Silver Chair and Magician’s Nephew are kind of boring but had interesting parts. Then everything fell apart after that and I’m left with a bitter taste in my mouth at the end.

In related news, apparently they’re going to make a movie for The Silver Chair? I still haven’t seen any of the movies yet, so that’s going to be my new Netflix challenge. :)

Current Best of Dance Videos

I haven’t done a “EDM videos that don’t suck” post in a while! There are a lot lately, mad props to the DJs.

1. Zedd ft. Foxes – Clarity



My first pick because I saw Zedd live a couple weeks ago and it was awesome. This was the big song everyone was awaiting of course. I’ve loved it since it first came out, not only is the video visually interesting, but the lyrics and tune are so fantastic to sing along to. But when I went to the concert, there was this interesting moment where all you could hear was the women singing the chorus at the tops of their lungs, and then every man there shouted out the “ayyyyy-ayyyyy ayyy-ayyy-ayyyyy” part right before the beat drops. It was perfect and magical. :D

2. Icona Pop – All Night



All musicians should watch the extended video for this song, it’s basically a lesson on how to highlight a subculture without being appropriative. This video is fun, fabulous, and makes me want to watch Paris Is Burning.

3. Jacques Lu Cont & Alex Metric – Safe With You



I was sold the moment this video began: EDM + figure skating = win. I don’t know, this video just gives me feels. Reminds me when I first fell in love with Virtue & Moir back in 2010.

Books Ahoy

I’ve been a bit of a reading machine lately. In the last month, I’ve finished off 5 books in total. On to the reviews! (As always, spoilers lie beyond here.)

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami: I mentioned this book before and how it was everything I ever dreamed of in a large, sprawling novel. In all honestly though the first half of the book is more interesting than the second half. There’s such a wide range of interesting characters like Ayumi, the Dowager, Fuka-Eri, Komatsu, and Professor Ebisuno. But they all sort of disappear as the novel moves into the second half, focusing on the epic fated love of Aomame and Tengo instead of conspiracies and the nature of writing. Would have preferred more of Ayumi and Aomame picking up guys in expensive bars and less of Tengo visiting his comatose father. And I wish they had explained more of what exactly the Little People were, whether Fuka-Eri was the maza or dohta, why there was a second moon in the sky, etc. But still, excellent read. I’d give it a score of 8/10.

A Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling: I started reading this book and feeling incredibly bored by this tale of small-town plebes and their trivial, insignificant small-town problems. In fact, that’s how I felt for the majority of the book. It just so happened that at some point, I desperately wanted to know what happened to these petty jerks. All the characters were so incredibly flawed that I had no sympathy for most of them. But after a certain point, I wanted everything to turn out alright for these petty jerks, but I knew that wouldn’t happen because it was an adult novel, not a Bollywood movie. So I went on Wikipedia and read the ending, which was probably a good thing because the ending was incredibly saddening and unfulfilling and I would have thrown the book out the window if I hadn’t known beforehand. Read the book if it somehow falls into your lap. Or not, whatever. One can live without it. I give it a score of 6.5/10.

Chronicles of Narnia – Yes, the whole series. I’m not done the whole thing yet (currently I’m in the middle of The Silver Chair) but I have thoughts for the moment. The books I’ve read so far in order are: The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe, Prince Caspian, and Voyage of the Dawntreader. Yup, going in published order. I actually read TLWW years ago (and The Magician’s Nephew too) but I think I wasn’t even in high school yet. Aaanyways, yes I’ve been making my way through the series. And obviously I knew going in that the whole series is a giant Bible parallel but man, non-Christian me gets the jibblies sometimes with the heavy-handedness of it all. Lewis is very clear about things he believe are Right and things that are Wrong, and sometimes I just throw my hands in the air at his beliefs. Anyway, the stories are still really engaging. My favourite so far is actually VDT, which I thought I would dislike because sailing = blah. But there was something magical about the journey to the east, the sunlight and the calm sweet waters. PC was most interesting at the beginning and the end, while the middle was a lump of boring. TLWW was interesting as well, but since I had read it once already I had a vague recollection of most of the details, which made it less engaging. Thus far SC has been rather annoying; Eustace and Jill are by far the most annoying and hasty children to grace the series thus far. I miss Lucy, LOL.

Praise Where Praise Is Due

I remember learning once in school that people are more likely to leave reviews for service or products when the review is a negative one. For that reason, I make an effort to inform people when something goes right or if I have a good experience. Here are two such recent examples.

1. Rogers

It’s actually no secret... I hate Rogers. But in a very specific way. I don’t like the prices they charge, I don’t like their packages, their offerings are so limited and inflexible, and I lord help you if you try to call them with an issue. There is an exception to their generally crappy customer service though, and that is the @RogersHelps twitter account. Bless those account users, they sure try their darndest to help.

It all started two Sundays ago, when my internet suddenly ground to a crawl. No matter what I did to the computer or router or modem, I just couldn’t get the connection to improve. I shouted my anger to the skies aka tweeted my agony to @RogersHelps and they did their best to help out, but in the end they set up a technician visit for me. And while Rogers has crap customer service, their technicians sure are pros. The guy came by a couple days later and found out my modem was broken, so he gave me a new one, as well as new ethernet cables, just in case. Well played, Rogers. But I’m still leaving you once my contract is up. :P

2. Groupon

I’ve been known to use Groupon every now and then, mostly for services. (e.g. haircuts, massages, pedicures, etc.) A couple weeks ago, I decided my shoulders had had enough and it was time for another massage. I checked out the best deals online, compared websites and resources between all the different companies, and finally decided on purchasing a groupon from my top pick. This week, I tried to make an appointment and found the phone number was firstly wrong on the Groupon page, then when I went to check the correct number on the website I discovered the website was gone. D: Good thing Google caches everything, so I found the right phone number on a cached version of the site... but the phone line was out of service. Double plus ungood! At this point, if everything had suddenly resolved itself (phone and website fixed) I still would have felt too sketched out by this company to use their services anymore, so I requested Groupon look into it. Less than 24 hours later, I find an email in my inbox confirming a full refund in Groupon bucks. Would have preferred a refund directly to my credit card, but this will do.

Where Once Was Earth...

I had a strange dream a couple weeks ago that continues coming back to my memory for reasons unknown. Here’s the lowdown...

In my dream, my family and I are all together on a space shuttle/pod orbiting the earth. We monitor the controls periodically to make sure that everything’s on course, but otherwise we’re just living out in space for no presumable reason. The whole time we’re up there, I’m comforted by the fact that I can see Earth right out the viewing window, but being in space still makes me incredibly uneasy. (I’m a Capricorn; give me solid ground or give me death!)

Then one day my worst fear is imagined. I can’t remember if one of my siblings accidentally knocked the controls or if someone was manipulating everything from Earth, but suddenly the ship begins to accelerate and change course, and we are streaming through space as blue-green contrails of stars streak by. When we finally manage to get the space craft to stop moving, we’ve traveled light-years away from our holding orbit... and the goddamn ship doesn’t have an interstellar map to show us which way we went or how to get back. I can’t remember if we ended up traveling to another galaxy or just another star system, either way it was really damn far. I remember when the ship finally stopped and I looked out the window and all I could see was a giant grey nebula in the distance and a dark brown planet... the profound feeling of being lost, alone, displaced, adrift, etc. was terrible.

The rest of the dream turned out sort of oddly. Somehow me and my siblings beamed down to the brown planet and found it to be inhabited by a race of vicious aliens that sort of looked like a cross between Predators and Zerg. Yeah, big do not want, especially the giant razor-claws for hands thing. D: We were sneaking around one of their castles trying not to get caught, and we found this flight of stairs on the outside of a turret that would lead us to the ground, but as we started running down it, we realized that there were guards at the bottom and guards hot on our heels. We were trapped. Except I was like “no, we’re not trapped, we can jump off these stairs from 50 feet up and fly over to that bridge and get back to the ship”. And of course my siblings were like “um, what??” But there was no time to explain to them that we were in a dream, so I just linked my arms with theirs told them to jump... and we started to plummet to the ground. But I increased my willpower and soon our decent stopped, and linked together we floated upwards to the bridge that led us back to the ship.

I woke up soon after that. Anyways, it's the part where the ship starts to zoom away from Earth that freaked me out the most, and that's the part I keep remembering. Of course. :P

Cronut Be Damned! CNE Exploits 2013

For anyone living in Toronto, we all know that the CNE heralds the end of summer. I like to go every year to enjoy the sights and sounds and delicious foods of course. This year the big item was the vaunted cronut burger (for those not in the know, a cronut is the delicious conglomeration of a croissant and a donut) but alas, on the first weekend of the CNE opening 150 people got sick with Staph aureus from eating the cronut burger... eww.

But a little bacterial toxin never stopped me! So my friend and I braved the possibility to gastrointestinal distress and headed over after work last week.

First stop, the Food Building for dinner. Even though we had pre-decided that we would avoid any potential stomach issues by only eating vegetarian food, we quickly fell under the thrall of a restaurant called Bison that featured (you guessed it) bison meat. I bought the bison sausage while my friend bought the bison burger, then we split each in half and shared. I liked the burger better and she liked the sausage better.





After the main course it was time for desert! My friend got a dozen Tiny Tom cinnamon donuts and I got... a deep fried Mars bar! Let me tell you people, it was freaking delicious. Full of melty chocolate, warm caramel, sugar saturated goodness.



After that we walked around the International Exhibition (where my friend got distracted by really cheap Mavi jeans) and enjoyed the midway with all its lights and sounds and teenagers way too intent on winning giant stuffed Minions. ;)







And so we bid farewell to another all-to-brief Canadian summer. Until next year!

Nightvaleian Non-Nightmares

I think Welcome to Night Vale is finally getting to me!

Last night I had a dream that I was vacationing at a beach and some kids were jumping around on these giant rocks that were half-submerged in the lake. I was apparently kind of lucid dreaming because I knew that the two rocks furthest out in the water weren’t rocks, but were actually giant zombie water creatures. They looked like Lovecraftian whale-kodama if that makes any sense. Anyway the moment the kids jumped on the last rock, three or four of these creatures woke up and stood fully upright in the waters and started speaking in very cheerful English. They said they wanted everyone in the city to gather on the beach in the evening and they would set off fireworks and sing us the glorious ancient songs of their kind. Since it was a bit of a tourist city, lots of people were excited about this and started camping out on the beach. However, I was rooming with a couple of friends who had moved to the city two years ago and they knew that where they were from weird = bad. The beach house that we were staying in had a special room that I had never gone into, but I always noticed it because it had weird patterns and textured stuff on its door and the outer walls. So my friends were like “yeah no, when those things start singing, get in this room and don’t leave until the sun rises the next day.” And because I was kind of lucid dreaming, I knew that was because when the whale-kodama started singing, anyone who could hear it would go insane and their brain would dissolve and their skin would fall off. Swell.

So as the evening approached the creatures’ booming voices appeared again and they presented the fireworks without a hitch. At this point all the tourists were having fun outside and the locals had disappeared. Me and my friends were already holed up in the secret room, but it had a sliding glass door that opened up right to the boardwalk, so when we saw some frantic homeless locals freaking out we let them into our room of safety at the last minute. Then the whale-kodama’s started this weird humming/chanting type thing and all you could hear was terrible, terrible screams outside. However, in my dream this was not as nightmarish at it sounded; in true pseudo Night Vale-esque fashion, we spent some time getting to know the thankful hobos we rescued, and one of them even baked us a delicious hobo pie while we waited for the terror outside to end. Mmm... pie.

Not Like I’ve Ever Shopped There

There’s an article doing the rounds on Twitter regarding Lululemon having some internal practices that effectively shun plus-sized shoppers. The whole thing is pretty rage inducing even for me, someone who is not a plus-sized shopper at all. But in all honesty, Lululemon (and its ilk like TNA and Aritsia) have been raising my hackles since I first saw them at my local shopping mall.

If being healthy was really about being healthy, it wouldn’t matter what you wear while you’re getting healthy. But consumerism fucks up everything; trendy name-brand workout gear is mandatory to demonstrate your commitment and passion for being healthy. You are not the sum of your actions (i.e. working out), you are the sum of your outfit (i.e. LOOKING like you work out).

It’s not enough that women need to be skinny, but in order to get there we ought to shell out our hard-earned cash for overpriced third-world-made clothing too. And for what? Why? Your muscles do not work harder while wearing designer clothes. Your heart does not pump harder if the Lululemon logo is displayed on your ass. I just don’t understand what the point is.

But my personal rant aside, Lululemon’s policy is terrible. Skinny does NOT equal healthy. Healthy equals healthy. :P

CBC Fail

Really, CBC? In what universe is that a relevant or appropriate cover photo for the headline next to it?? A young man died and you advertise it with tits? BOOURNS! So tasteless.

Writing Prompt #1 - What's in the Barn?

I found this very cool writing prompt website that I’m going to start using, both to generate blog posts and to continue flexing my writerly muscles. You can check it out for yourself here: Creative Writing Prompts

Prompt - Late at night you awake to find your wife/husband out of bed. Exploring the farmhouse, you find no lights on and the kids are still sound asleep. Past the fields, you see light shining out of the barn. When you walk out there and open the door, what do you find?

I’m expecting to see Francis sitting at his workbench, putting lacquer on the bookshelf or fixing the riding mower. But he’s nowhere to be found. Who turned the light on then?

I pull my robe around me tightly and take a few steps inside. “Honey? Are you in here?” No answer. But then I notice something shift at the back, behind a large curtain that covers an old mirror we’ve been meaning to restore for ages. “Hello?” I pause, getting the sense that I’m not the one in danger here. “It’s okay, you can come out.”

Holding my breath and waiting, I eventually see a small child emerge from the shadows. A girl, probably the same age as my little Myriam. Same dark hair and dark eyes as my daughter too, but the way her cheekbones stick out, the angles of her shoulders and elbows, the too-large dress draped over her thin frame... she clearly isn’t well.

My voice is barely a whisper as I try to coax her forward. “Hi, sweetheart. What are you doing in here?”

She looks past me with a scared expression. “He said he’d bring me a surprise.”

“Who said that?”

A low voice replies from behind me. “I did.” Francis walks past me and I can see relief in the girl’s eyes. He’s carrying a giant bag of candy, the kind that we keep hidden in basement cellar so that the kids can’t get their hands on them whenever they want. I silently watch as the girl creeps forward and sits on the floor of the barn with my husband, the two of them pouring through the bag of candy and selecting which ones they want. Kids always like Francis, mostly because he gives them exactly what they want. As he sits there wolfing down candy with her, my mind is whirring down a different course. This girl doesn’t look like any of the neighbouring kids, and whoever was caring for her wasn’t doing a well enough job. Where did she come from?

Without warning, the girl freezes with a look of panic on her face. “They’re coming for me.”

Francis gives me a brief look. “Don’t worry, we’re going to make sure you’re fi-“

A deafening boom echoes outside, like fighter jets are flying low and just broke the sound barrier. The girl screams, high-pitched and terrified. I try to grab both her and my husband at the same time but a blinding flash suddenly illuminates everything. I fumble, my fingers graze someone’s sleeve but I’m not sure whose, and I trip forward and land on the soft hay floor. The roar continues to split my head, making it impossible to speak over the noise, but then I feel the girl’s small hand on my shoulder. I feel a strange tug in the air, like a wave of pressure is pulling me towards some mysterious centre. I want to ask what’s going on, my eyes are beginning to recover from the flash of light. But the most I can do is turn back to look at Francis, who is sitting behind me with a handful of my bathrobe held tight in his fist. Then there’s a second wave, stronger than the first, and pricks of darkness crowd my vision. I’m falling, passing out, and I can only hope that I will wake up soon.

Pursuing The Dream: Hair & Nails Edition

For a little more than over a year now, I’ve noticed that my hair is no longer the hair I’ve been accustomed to. At first I thought it was because I was growing my hair out instead of keeping my usual bob, but it’s more than that. I also think hormones might have something to do with it; my nails aren’t doing so well either, and I thought maybe it was just that I was using nail polish more but I’m starting to think this is a keratin problem. :P

So I’ve developed a loose plan of attack to address some of my issues:

1. Stop combing my hair when it’s wet. This used to never be an issue because the comb would glide through my hair without stopping. But lately my head is just tangle central, even at the roots! So it’s not just #longhairproblems unfortunately.
2. Find a good leave-in treatment. Because if I’m not going to comb my hair after a shower, I need some way for it to be manageable! Friends have suggested that VO5 hot oil treatment but I will go for something more authentic like coconut oil. Desi stylez y’all!
3. Stop touching my hair or poking at my scalp all the time, which just makes my hair oily when I don’t want it to be. Hard habit to break, it’s a mindless tic I have.
4. Buy Bautiste, which is a dry shampoo. Dry shampoos are these sprays you can use in-between showers to maintain your hair’s volume and freshness, and to reduce that gross oily look hair can get.
5. Maybe – buy biotin, which supposedly enhances the look of hair and nails. Double bonus! But I hear that stuff is expensive, so we’ll see.
6. Maybe – get a satin scarf or pillowcase, because apparently cotton sheets can be abrasive to hair. But as a tried and true skeptic, especially when it comes to beauty and fashion, I might pass on it. Seems excessive, like sleeping in an oxygen casket to prolong your life. ;)

While I’m at it, I think I will try to improve things on the nail front as well. In addition to potential biotin use mentioned above, I will try to -

1. Consistently moisturize. I already have the right tools in place, I just ain’t doin’ it right. I have The Body Shop’s Hemp Hand Cream underneath my kitchen sink (because I wash my dishes by hand, OLD SCHOOL Y’ALL) and it’s super nourishing. I just need to remember to use it more often. I also have Burt’s Bees Cuticle Balm right on my night table, but I don’t use it before bed like I should.
2. Improve my diet/nutrients. Sigh, this is always a struggle. I’m lucky if I manage to eat actual meal food for my meals, as opposed to cake or Ringolos. (Side note: hell yeah Ringolos!) If I’m eating lasagne for dinner, I’m just proud of myself for eating a Real Dinner. I’m not concerned with salt intake or fat content. I’m concerned with “what is easy to make and won’t make me hate the kitchen?”

Not So Strong and Free

Most of the time I am a very proud Canadian. Today is not one of those days. What’s gotten under my skin? Well, Canada’s treatment of First Nations people has always left a bad taste in my mouth but a recent study demonstrates that the government actively allowed children and adults starving on reserves to continue to starve, so that they could use them as test subjects in nutritional studies.

Listen, this is beyond mind-boggling. Imagine for a second you’re at home, enjoying the comfort and normalcy of your modest house, when some strange dude walks through the door, declares that the house and everything inside it now belongs to him and his family, but don’t worry, you can still stay in the unfinished basement cellar, there’s a window for light and you’re protected from the elements, you should be grateful he didn’t just, like, shoot you or something when he came in. But he’s a pretty awesome dude, and because he cares he’s giving you some space and for their own good, he’s taking your kids to live with his cousin 500km away, she’ll take care of them properly. So don’t be so noisy down there, don’t try to hold on to any of the life you had before he took over everything you knew and loved, you’re free to leave and walk away whenever you want, or if you pay him a fee you could totally rent out a room upstairs instead. But it’ll be hard to come up with the extra money, because totally awesome dudes just like him have taken over your neighbourhood and have nothing but disdain for your modest ways and strange language and clearly inferior beliefs.

And then a hundred years later, when your children's children's children are still trying to recover from being ripped away from their way of life, everyone blames them for not being as awesome as the dudes living in houses. Go figure.

Freedomland

When I was a kid/teen, I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of moving to America. Not only cause all my stuff was here in the great white north, but because I found their gun laws completely terrifying. That so called land of opportunity down south was also a land of terrible violence.

When I was officially an adult and went off to university, I added another factor to my “I Don’t Want To Move To America” list: lack of universal healthcare. Since I was finally living away from home, I was facing the new experiences of visiting campus health centres and getting my own prescriptions. At first I grumbled about having to fork out any sort of money for medication, until I realized how lucky I was that it was the only thing I paid for, and that at a discount. I don’t pay for doctor’s visits or exams or routine tests, even during the times I was without employee benefits.

My twenties and teens are now long behind me and I’m seeing the world from a much more adult perspective. And add to the list another reason why moving to America terrifies me: anti-abortion laws. I just can’t fathom that a nation and the people (let’s be real, the MEN) who govern it could be so hostile to truth and agency and compassion towards half the population. I want no part of that! In fact I wish I could do more to change things down south but hey, I’m not USian.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to move and live someplace else in the world but I know it’ll never stick. For what it’s worth, my heart is stuck in Canada. :)

#cornproblems

I’ve got some serious business to discuss today: corn on the cob. Shout out to @chotirani for forcing my hand on this issue. ;)

For as long as I can remember, I have always eaten corn on the cob one way and one way only: row by row. By which I mean horizontally. I have a very specific system.

1. To start, I pick a spot in the middle of the cob and take a bite that encompasses 4 rows of kernels, no more and no less.
2. Following the first bite, I eat the rest of the rows to the right of the initial bite, then the rows to the left of the initial bite.
3. Then I rotate the cob clockwise and take another bite from the middle (again 4 rows wide) and repeat step 2.
4. I repeat step 3 two more times and always just two more times because for some reason, all corn is made equal. By which I mean there is always 4 × 4 rows of corn kernels in a cob. My method for eating corn is mathematically sound.

So there you have it, my efficient and logical methodology for eating corn on the cob. You should all use it and if you’re not, rethink your corn eating lifestyle.

(I also probably eat corn the way I do partially because of a Bugs Bunny cartoon I saw as a very young child, where he ate his corn like he was a typewriter. Television, y’all. Just as influential as you imagined.)

My Freshness Scarcity

I’ve done a fair bit of grocery shopping in the last couple days and I’ve come to notice something: my fridge is always empty.

This isn’t to say I don’t buy food, but it’s that the kind of food I tend to buy doesn’t need to be refrigerated. My freezer is always fully stocked. My cupboards are exploding. But the fridge is sort of sad looking, with nothing but a cartoon of orange juice, some sauces in the door, a bottle of wine, a tub of margarine, some cheese and yogurt, and maybe some milk if the weekend is close.

I tend not to buy perishable fresh food because I am too flighty to stick to a weekly meal plan. Plus, even regular portion sizes are too much for me to consume before the expiry date. Why buy a 12-pack of eggs when I only need 2 per week? Why buy a whole celery bunch when I just need a single stalk? Why buy a litre of milk when I only drink 250 mL on the weekend? In the end, the extras wouldn’t be consumed and would go to waste, so I just don’t bother. But dry goods like pasta and rice last forever in my cupboards! My freezer is stocked to the brim with fruits, meat, and vegetables, as well as favourites like pizza and lasagne.

Now that I think about it, I don’t really buy bread either. It’s something that I don’t consistently eat, I only want it once in a blue moon, but I’m not going to buy 20 slices of the stuff when all I want is toast with jam maybe once every two months, it’d be a waste.

Honestly, I wish the sizes of my fridge and freezer were switched! It would be way more useful to me.

The Conscientious Shopper

This past Friday evening, I was out shopping for a Father’s Day present after work. I didn’t find what I was looking for, and I could have just gone straight home after that but it was payday, so I thought there’d be no harm in looking for some new clothes. I ended up wandering into Dynamite and heading to their sales rack. I found a very cute black belted dress with tiny white polka dots there, and it was marked down big time! So I took it to the dressing room, hung the dress up, and started undoing all the buttons so that I’d be able to try it on. But as I undid the buttons, I glanced up to the tag and froze at what I saw.

“Made In Bangladesh”

After a moment of paralysis, I slowly backed away from the dress and contemplated it. After the collapse of that factory building, I’ve developed a distaste for clothing from Bangladesh. But it was pretty and affordable; did I still want it? I decided the answer was no. I didn’t want to support cheap third-world clothes, and besides I didn’t need a new dress. So I touched up my makeup in the mirror and walked back out of the dressing room.

In an ideal world, I’d only buy products that were made in Canada. But Canada isn’t really a manufacturer of clothes, and when they do it’s usually out of my price range. But I still buy clothes that are made in China even though the same situation as Bangladesh is probably playing itself out there too. It’s hard to figure out what the right thing to do is.

The Best Thing A Writer Can Do Is Read

Before I realized that getting more sleep would be a good way to kick-start my writerly inspiration, I decided that doing more reading might be the ticket. You see, I’ve given up a lot of things since I became a home-owner... that mortgage ain’t gonna pay itself! Sometimes it’s the little things that matter, so I gave up (amongst other things) buying new books. Because let’s be honest, books are expensive, especially in Canada.

Thankfully, I got a ton of Chapters gift cards over the holidays and finally decided to use one up. My purchase was the novel 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami; I’d heard great things about Murakami’s writing and the novel’s plot seemed right up my alley. Indeed, this gargantuan book has everything: sex, espionage, an exploration of the nature of writing, parallel universes, vengeful feminists, cults, and paranormal activities.

This past week I was feeling like I'd made significant progress in the book, but then I came to a plot point where I realized the author had just set up the crux of the novel... 344 pages in. I am LESS THAN ONE THIRD through this book. D: It's like the literary equivalent of a progressive house song; it's 9 minutes long and the bass doesn't drop until 4 minutes in.

In any case, this is one of the best books I've read in a long time. Can't wait to see where else it takes me!

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

Slowly but surely, a change is coming into my life... I’m starting to dream at night again.

Let me explain. For starters, I always dream, that’s never changed since I was a wee one. And my dreams have never really been average, but quite vivid, fantastical, lucid, and extremely easy for me to remember in great detail upon waking. Seriously, my subconscious has come up with epic House MD episodes that would have put David Shore to shame. ;)

But I noticed that around the time I turned 30, my dreams changed. They became a lot more boring for one; dreaming about working in the office or watching TV with the family really doesn’t compare to dreaming that you’ve runaway with fairies to an alternate dimension and chilled in Father Time’s garden along the way. Not only did they become more mundane, but I couldn’t even remember them once I woke up, only vague feelings of mediocrity lingered behind.

I assumed it was just a complication of getting older, my brain just wasn’t as sharp as it used to be. Then, about a month ago, I changed my sleeping patterns. Basically, I got more of it haha. As opposed to going to bed around 11:30pm-12am every weeknight, I committed to going to bed at 10:30pm instead. Not only did I noticed I’d be far less tired in the morning, but gradually my dreams have gone back to being grand and vivid and epic. It’s not completely the same as it used to be (I’m still having issues remembering details when I wake up) but it’s definite progress towards a place I want to be in.

I never realized how important my epic dreams were to me until they started to fade away. Last night I dreamed that it was like 200 years in the future and I was canoeing down some Vietnamese river with a group of grumpy rebels working to repel our evil robot space-lords. And then there was a final showdown between our group’s hero and the head bad guy, and our hero killed the head bad guy... and then was somehow crowned the prophesized king of the robot space-lords and turned to evil. Which is when I woke up. How unreal, my brain is awesome. :D

Blog Topic #63 - You Are Here

Yes, you are here. Where is here? Here is ~*~*~THE FUTURE~*~*~

Exciting, no?

Let me explain. In the last year or so I feel there have been a few technological and scientific developments that really hit home the message that a lot of time has passed since I was a child. Like 3D printing drugs. Seriously. WE CAN PRINT DRUGS WHAT.



I know that technically the future never arrives, it’s always out there before you, but I don’t care what the people say, the future is NOW!

When I was a kid, they told us we’d grow up and live on moon colonies and vacation on Mars. None of that came true obviously, but other things did. We were so focused on the outer world, on outer space, that we forgot about our inner worlds, a world of DNA fragments and energized electrons. Before you know it, we’ll be operating on a quantum internet people!

More food for thought: this AT&T ad from 1993 that basically predicted the future.



We live in a world where you can video chat with anyone around the world (well, except for Syria right now), a world where a pre-verbal babies/toddlers know how to unlock an iPhone and find the YouTube app, a world where you can access real time photos and content the moment events break across an ocean. To some this may not seem like a big deal, but I am starting to find the present quite futuristic. :)

Blog Topic #27 - How Women Use Social Media

Another amendment to the topic title...

Blog Topic #27 – How Women I Use Social Media

(Because “women” are not some kind of monolithic hive mind, duh. We are, however, made up of individuals with their own tastes and preferences, and here I am!)

I’d say I’m a bit of a social media junkie, in the sense that the moment some trendy new app or website pops up I get an account and attempt to participate. Whether I actually use it effectively or at all is a different story. Let’s break it down.

Facebook – I have a very love-hate relationship with Facebook. I’m always bitter that I can’t be done with its terrible privacy settings and delete my account, because if I did I’d have no social life. :P I basically use Facebook to keep abreast of everyone’s lives; places they travel to, changing jobs or moving cities, getting engaged/married/babies, etc. Aside from that, I use it to mostly post music videos I really like, or sometimes geeky/feminist articles that catch my eye. My status updates are mostly about hanging out with friends or bitching about the weather. I don’t really get too serious or political on Facebook. That’s what Twitter is for. ;)

Livejournal – My first real foray into social media, I’ve mostly abandoned it in favour of other avenues. But from like 2002 to like 2009 it was my lifeblood. As a blogging platform, it was perfectly suited for me to squee about my favourite TV show and obsessively deconstruct every nuance of plot and character development. And similar fans responded! We became friends in real life! LJ also gave me a venue to try another highly specific form of graphic design: icon design. Not to mention all the fanfic I posted there. Seriously though, where do the kids post fanfic these days??

Pinterest – Honestly I still don’t really ~get~ what Pinterest is for. I only pop over when someone links to a cleaning related lifehack or pretty nail art. Otherwise I’m like “ugh, people, stop posting about food, food is boring”. :P

Twitter – this is my main hub of social media these days. So many other apps and websites revolve around it, it’s easy to make it central to my online presence. I feel a lot more anonymous on Twitter too (less of my real life friends follow me there), so speaking my mind doesn’t feel so fraught. I mostly retweet other people or link to articles I like. I’m a big Instagram fan and everything I create goes straight to Twitter.

Tumblr – I like to describe Tumblr as “Twitter but with pictures”. That might have been how it started out as for me, but it’s grown into this weird, unwieldy vortex of timesuck that I tried to avoid because, well, timesuck. Once I get on there, I start reposting all the awesome stuff I come across and CAN’T STOP. I come for the gifs, but stay for the intersectional screeds of real-talk.

From CDs to iTunes Downloads: a Great Gatsby Soundtrack Review

I’m interrupting my regularly scheduled blog topics to insert a very important post about Baz Luhrman, movie soundtracks, and how single song downloads have changed the way we listen to music. Yes, that’s right, this is a Great Gatsby OST post!

First off, listen to the soundtrack. You can either sample it on iTunes (I think it released yesterday) or listen to the whole album free on NPR: First Listen: Music From Baz Luhrman’s Film The Great Gatsby.

Now, personally, I’ve got real soft spots for previous Baz Luhrman soundtracks such as Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge. The music from Romeo + Juliet instantly takes me back to grade 10. Everyone had that CD. I remember a couple of the older kids in our drama class even created this cool contemporary routine with the Radiohead song on that soundtrack in the background. Not only that, the artists selected for the album and their varying styles of music are so indicative of the time period; grungy rock giving way to peppy pop.

The Moulin Rouge soundtrack isn’t quite the same, since it was a musical itself a lot of the movie’s songs are included on it. But I think the runaway hit from the soundtrack, Lady Marmalade with Pink and Lil Kim and Christina Aguilera and Mya, kind of sums up the time period well in itself. Trashy pop y’all!

The thing about the above two soundtracks is that I bought them as CDs. And while it’s relatively easy to skip around to your favourite songs, it’s much easier to just listen to the whole thing in one sitting. Which means that you eventually learn to enjoy most of the songs, while your favourites are little nuggets of joy in the course of your listening experience. That’s how it used to be. But with the advent of iTunes, you don’t need to get the whole album anymore. You download your favourites and leave the rest alone. That’s how I usually do it these days, haven’t listened to a whole album through since maybe 2005. Until now!

If you clicked on the link above, you’ll see that there’s a 57 minute track with the whole Gatsby album on it. And I’m kind of digging listening to the whole thing as opposed to my favourite 3 songs. And the best part is that all the songs are good, but when my favourites pop up... nugget of joy! It’s making me very nostalgic for that old way we listened to music. Anyways, my favourites are:

“Over The Love” by Florence + The Machine – her singing is so epic and it almost feels like they couldn’t create a score to match that epicness. ;)

“Hearts A Mess” by Gotye – this is WAY better than his song with Kimbra. It gives me a lot of “Talk Show Host” by Radiohead (from the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack) feels.

“Into The Past” by Nero – the closest thing to dubstep on the album, which y’all knew had to be represented for our current time period. It’s got a dreamy electronic feel to it.

Overall, extremely enjoyable album; I like it better than Moulin Rouge but Romeo + Juliet still holds the #1 spot.

Rating: 8/10

Blog Topic #88 - Shaking Things Up

It’s no secret that part of my identity includes the term “writer”. I’ve been writing one way or another (diary, fiction, etc.) since I was around thirteen years old. I’ve got a prolific fanfic resumé, I’ve been blogging for years, and I’ve got this dream of writing my own novel as well.

But in the last couple years, that dream stalled. It started first with a fall-out with fandom; without a new TV show or movie for me to be passionate over, my inspiration dried up. Then, I noticed that it was getting harder and harder for me to remember my dreams when I woke up, another one of my methods of inspiration gone. In addition to my usual sources of inspiration disappearing, there were other factors that made writing difficult. On the “there’s not enough time” front, I bought a house and found myself in a long term relationship, both things that I like to devote care and attention to (therefore diverting attention away from my writing aspirations). Finally, I started a job that requires that I sit in front of the computer a lot, and now that I’m a little older the last thing I want to do when I come home is more sitting in front of the computer, my shoulders and back can’t handle it.

So there are reasons. But reasons can also be excuses. I still want to write a novel, but it’s hard when your creativity is in a rut. Thankfully I found this article (on my favourite inspirational website Tiny Buddha): 8 Ways We Block Our Creativity And Keep Ourselves Stuck. I’m totally a victim of every single one of those pitfalls, the worst being that writing my novel stopped being about a personal accomplishment and more about its potential marketability. So I thought: “Self, forget about seeing your novel in Chapters and Indigo, forget about publishing and getting an agent... this is about creating something that makes you proud.”

Exactly a week later, I met up with a high school friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in some time and she was bubbling with excitement I hadn’t seen in her for some time. She had recently seen a musical that was inspiring her to try her own hand at writing a three-part tragicomedy script/play. I told her about my own lack of inspiration over the last couple years and my recent epiphany. And she said, “maybe there’s a reason we’re meeting at this moment in time!” I don’t believe in karma or synchronicity but it was still awesome to talk to someone on the same wavelength, who encourages you to follow your passions.

So that’s how I’m shaking things up. This Friday is going to be devoted to sitting in bed with my laptop and getting back in the groove of things. :D

Blog Topic #37 - Book Shopping (Buy These Books)

Another amendment: Blog Topic #37 – Book Shopping (Buy Read These Books). Cause being thrifty is awesome and more power to you if you can get these books at the library or borrow them from a friend!

Any list like this is going to be extremely biased and personal to the author, but I’m going to give its a shot anyway. These are the books that found their way into my life and will be a part of my bookshelf till the day I die or can’t read anymore:

Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie – This is a book that manages to be beautiful and poetic on one side while being frustrating and bizarre on the other. The real highlight is Rushdie’s prose though, in this novel his craft is at its height. It’s almost as if he’s plucked the words from the brain of some cosmic maestro. Well worth the read, especially with a couple different plotlines to keep the reader occupied.

A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth – Despite being alarmingly hefty, this book is one of my favourites. In fact, after I finished if for the first time I was saddened to realize I was only 20 years old and had already read the best book of my life. ;P You need to prepare yourself for this book. There are so many characters that Seth had to include a couple family trees in the beginning for reference purposes, and their stories intertwine in the most surprising ways. There’s also an in-depth focus on Indian politics soon after its independence, which can be dry for some (myself included). But I ended this book feeling like I had just read a story about my own distant relatives, that’s how real Seth makes his story.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë – I picked this book as an English project in grade 11 and was startled by how much I liked it. Then when I was in university I bought a discounted copy and realized that I could enjoy the story far more now that I was an adult. In fact, the older I get, the richer this novel becomes. Bronte was a trailblazer of her time and it shows through the main character’s actions and the little soapbox moments the author throws in every now and then. For a classic, it’s completely relatable for a modern woman like me, which is why I suppose it’s a classic to begin with. In the end, I’m enamoured with the way Jane Eyre is a lot like me.

Innocence by Kathleen Tessaro – I think this novel is categorized as “chick lit” but I don’t understand why, other than the fact that the main character is a woman and she has relationship issues. But the book is so much more than that. Romance plays second fiddle to the angst and agony of past choices, finding your calling, and the figuring out if you have the courage to truly live life. I think if you’re someone who spends a lot of time inside your own head and in search of your purpose, you’d enjoy this book.

JPod by Douglas Coupland – Coupland is known for his unorthodox writing style and frankly I find it something to aspire towards! As someone who does a lot of technical computer stuff at work and at home, this book was so much fun. Completely irreverent and seemingly lacking any kind of cohesion or plot, you get caught up in a world where nonsense is the norm in an otherwise stale existence. Also, with bonus Canadian content!

The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni – Back to the Indian stories; I know it’s been interpreted and postulated for ages but who can say no to a fictional examination of the Mahabharata from Draupadi’s perspective? I have to admit that when I started the book, I was flailing a little because I felt like I was reading something mildly blasphemous. But after a couple reveals I was flailing in a good way. That being said, I don’t understand how anyone who isn’t Hindu would get the kind of enjoyment I did out of this book. Therefore I humbly request that all you non-Hindus out there find a copy and tell me what you think. ;)

Blog Topic #85 - How I Went From Very Shy to Less Shy

It was a two part process!

Part 1 - Grade 10. We all have to pick a semester of some kind of creative art for one of our course selections. Instead of musical instruments (which made sense since I was in the school band) I decided on drama instead. Because despite my introversion and quietness, there was a diva dying to get out. ;) I ended meeting some fabulous new friends in that class, and for the first time I was prancing around and dressing up with people that I felt comfortable around. It really built up my confidence, and I had a great time finding my voice and expressing myself.

Part 2 - 2005. Freshly graduated from post-secondary education and I landed a great job right out of school, at a multinational company. My boss was senior management, therefore I was suddenly rubbing elbows with high-powered executives while we talked about stocks and sipped expensive wine. Stranger upon stranger would waltz into my life, experts in their field with mounds of education and experience. In that sort of environment, I knew one thing: confidence was key. Maybe it was the company's culture as well (I remember people like the CEO asking me to call him by his first name), people were very professional but open at the same time. So I didn't approach the situation as me being the newbie in the midst of sharks. I saw the men and women around me as my peers, my equals, and interacted with them like it was no big deal. Sometimes, I would fly across the country and run meetings with teams of people I'd never met before. I was forced to be at ease in strange and new situations, and it paid off. Now, chatting new people up at a party is nothing compared to shmoozing with rich execs. ;)

Blog Topic #23 - My Mother is On Facebook

The post title is a bit of a lie; I’m not going to talk about my mother being on Facebook. I mean, she is on Facebook, but I haven’t friended her there because that’s going a little too far IMHO. But! She is one of my tweeps on Twitter, so: amendment.

Blog Post #23 – My Mother Is On Facebook Twitter

And let me tell you, no one is as hilarious on Twitter as my mother! She spits realness in the most hilarious ways. Some examples...

Disney buys Lucas Films...Is that why they were saying world is going to end in 2012!!

— Sheela Rama (@SheelaRama) October 30, 2012

If I were in this debate i would either walk out or punch my opponent #debate2012

— Sheela Rama (@SheelaRama) October 23, 2012

Trump should join a circus team!

— Sheela Rama (@SheelaRama) October 24, 2012

Can you believe??Power went out At Superbowl.Epic fail #superbowl2013

— Sheela Rama (@SheelaRama) February 4, 2013

When you listen to Obama talking about immigration reform you realize there's no one cooler than him on this planet!!

— Sheela Rama (@SheelaRama) January 29, 2013

Some of Indian Politicians have truly lost all their brain cells!! #stupidityofIndianpoliticians

— Sheela Rama (@SheelaRama) January 4, 2013

Poor Romney's website doesn't work. How can he become a President?

— Sheela Rama (@SheelaRama) October 23, 2012

LMAO she has a block of angry Romney related tweets last October that are just killing me right now. She also conversationally tweets a lot of celebrities and politicians. She tends to livetweet popular sporting events, award shows, and political debates.

Blog Topic #29 - If I Were a Television Producer

My show would be the shit, I can tell you that much. ;P

Back when I was far more fannish and obsessed with my TV shows (a mere 3-4 years ago), I used to have the most vivid and fantastical dreams that were basically episodes of House, CSI, Bones, or Lost. I shared a few of them with friends and the reaction was generally "omg, I’d watch that!"

My TV show would centre around some sort of supernatural or mystical element in our current world, because as much as I love my scientific procedurals, nothing beats the kind of mindfuck you get from messing with the natural order. And while I love futuristic space-timey shows, world-building is not my forté. The cast would be a variety of ages, genders, races, and orientations. Cinematography would be a big deal, as would the attention to detail on any props. I would be very picky about choosing a composer to do the show’s score and theme song.

It would be an intelligent show. I wouldn’t underestimate the potential of my audience. The dialogue would be succinct but clever, the characters complex and misunderstood, the backdrops epic and intimate at the same time. Aaaand it would be cancelled before the season is over. Isn’t that the way of the world? :P

Blog Topic #84 - Downtime (What I Do Offline to Recharge)

I spend a lot of time online. More than I probably should. And I think it’s gotten worse since I got a smartphone. :P Thankfully, I have a number of offline pursuits to distract me from the shiny lure of the internets. So what do I do in my downtime?

1. I crochet – nothing completely clears my mind like crochet does! Your eyes and brain are completed focused on the yarn and stitches, and you have to watch what you’re doing (unlike knitting). And there’s nothing like watching a pattern come to life and take shape. The only downfall is that if you continue crocheting for too long, your shoulders and neck will not be pleased with you. :P My mom taught me the basics and the rest is I picked up from YouTube.


2. I scrapbook – I really had no intention of getting into scrapbooking because I know how involved and expensive it can be, but I got one of those Mambi kits as a gift and it all took off from there. It’s basically the real life equivalent of making your own desktop wallpaper in Photoshop, which is another pastime of mine coincidently. So I took to it quite well. I love all the fun stickers, picking out photos and laying them out with borders and matting . It’s nice to spend time documenting memories and the people in your life!


3. I watch TV – the offline pastime of kings and queens! I used to be the kind of person who was religiously dedicated to prime time dramas such as Lost, House, Bones, CSI, etc. but I find that I don’t have the patience for such things anymore. I prefer unplugging my brain with a lot of HGTV or something with Gail Vaz-Oxlade on Slice. It's not like there's a plot line to keep track of, plus it's usually educational!


4. I journal – like, in an actual journal, omg. It might not be as quick as typing (and sometimes my hand cramps up, hah) but every now and then it’s nice to meander with your thoughts and document things low-tech style. Old habits die hard; I've been journalling since I was probably 12 years old. Besides, I like the way my handwriting looks! Plus, journalling is extra fun if you're doing it in one of those fancy gilded leather dealies from Indigo. ;)


5. I paint my nails - I've become somewhat obsessed with nail polish over the last couple years and have amassed quite the embarrassing collection (embarrassing only because HOLY CRAP that's a lot of money spent on what is essentially crap haha). It's a great way to kill a couple hours and be creative at the same time. They may be tiny, but even a tiny canvas has limitless potential!


6. I dance - nothing like cranking up the tunes and grooving around the apartment when no one's watching, it's the ultimate stress release. It's fun, it burns calories, it lets me practice my pipes... what's not to like?? :D

What about you guys? When you're not staring at a screen, how do you spend your time?

Blog Topic #10 - Somebody Has To Say It

The best way to enjoy life, to truly see it for the beauty it holds, is to live in the present.

When we live in the past, we’re focused on what has already happened and cannot be changed. We fixate on mistakes made, words we wish we could take back, ways we were wronged. Living in the past will keep you depressed and angry.

When we live in the future, we become focused on the unknown. Life isn’t easily predicted or controlled, there are no simple outcomes, and fate likes to throw us curveballs too. Living in the future will keep you anxious and unsatisfied.

But when we live in the present, when we stop and contemplate the moments passing us by at this very second, the small grandeurs of the universe are revealed to us. We have weathered tempests and arrived. We are exactly where we are supposed to be.

So for today, if only for today, don’t dwell on what has passed and don’t fret about what is yet to come. Today is a gift, enjoy it. :)

Blog Topic #25 - Books I Want to Write

I have so many ideas for this topic because apparently one of my favourite past-times is starting novels I have no intention of finishing, lolsob.

1. This one is the shining jewel of my ideas. So you know the story of Rani Padmini and the sacking of Chitoor? What if there was one young noble-woman who couldn’t go through with the mass immolation and escapes instead? And she seeks asylum at a brahmin’s ashram, where she learns that he is secretly training a new generation of Rajput soldiers to fight against the invading Mughals. She starts to fall for one of the dashing young soldiers and ends up taking on the role of spy and infiltrating the Shah’s court by being his Begum’s maid. And then her she sneaks her paramour in to help him murder the Shah but they’re both CAUGHT and EXECUTED, THE END. God I love this story haha. Too bad I’m bogged down by historical accuracy, or lack thereof.
2. My second favourite idea is this epic eastern-fantasy type novel. It’s the story of a man who’s cursed to slowly turn into a demon, but really it’s about a girl who used to be the court dancer of the gods and was cursed to live in the body of a hawk. Together, they traverse the kingdom searching for a cure, all the while outsmarting suckers, battling with their inner darkness, and possibly falling in love as well. But just as their quest comes to an end, the girl turns evil and tries to usurp the power of the gods, but the man stops her, but it’s too late, they’re both thrown into an inter-dimensional wormhole. They pop out on the other side and end up in OUR WORLD, and then have to struggle with their new reality and FIND EACH OTHER. Another really awesome story that got bogged down by logistics, because I started thinking things like “is this racist against Persians?!” Sigh.
3. Oooh, this one's pretty cool. So imagine an alternate universe, medieval-esque Spain where magic and potions and sorcery are an everyday occurrence. There's this poor orphan girl who's going to magic school but she's kind of weak sauce power-wise but very creative and a good problem solver. One day her and a friend are fooling around with a book they find and cast a spell that somehow creates a portal. They walk through it and on the other side they find... a frazzled university physicist (in OUR world) who at the same time just happened to be smashing atomic particles. Didn't really know where the story went from there aside from the government and politicians and dastardly villains trying to take over the other universe in a grab for power, and it's up for the plucky main characters to stop them!
4. This one started out as fanfic and morphed into something else completely. Again in a fantasy world, a young warrior is out hunting when he comes across a woman passed out by the river. She doesn't look anything like his tribes-people but he takes her back to his primitive village and nurses her back to health. She doesn't know anything about their world and has lost her own memory as well, but long story short they bond and fall in love. Years pass and she's basically one of them until one day she's like "EVERYONE FLEE NOW *UNINTELLIGIBLE LANGUAGE*" and then giant mecha spiders descend upon the village and kidnap a bunch of people and it's up to our young strapping warrior to rescue his woman and find out what the ever loving hell is going on. (Hint: advanced secretive society that likes to build giant mechanized spiders and wants to take over the rest of the primitive world.)
5. At some point I conceived a stream-of-consciousness type novel that was loosely based on my own life but mostly inspired by JPod by Douglas Coupland. Think young woman working at a terrible tech support firm with the best bunch of pot-smoking, car-stealing, shenanigan-having friends a mid-twenties woman could ever have. But I'm not even a fan of books with no plot, so writing it was more an exercise in narcissism than anything else. ;)
   

Product Review Time!

I’m the kind of person that companies love, in the sense that when it comes to brand loyalty I’m the ideal customer. Once I find a product I like, I will buy it over and over again without much reconsideration. I may even end up filling my life with an assortment of products from a specific company just because I like what they do. I’m a creature of habit, ultimately. Which is why it’s surprising that I decided to branch out and try a couple new things from my local drugstore.

1. Perfect example of my brand loyalty: when I was 18 I got a free sample of Glycomed hand lotion and loved it so much that I used nothing else for the next 14 years! But for some reason when my last bottle ran out I decided I was done with Glycomed, it wasn’t giving me the results I wanted and I didn’t care for the smell anymore. I did some research online and read some reviews and ended up buying Jergens Ultra Care moisturizing body lotion.
   Diagnosis – wow, I am seriously impressed! Within a couple days my skin was already feeling smoother and softer than it had been in a long time, and now that it’s been about a week the appearance of my skin is less cracked and dry-looking as well. It even feels warm on my skin when I first put it on. Smell is nice, no complaints there.
   Overall rating: 9/10 (it’s so good I recommended it to my mother!)
2. My hair has been fairly oily for as long as I can remember, which meant as a teenager I couldn’t stand going a single day without shampooing my hair. But I’ve come to realize how terrible that actually is for my hair and I’ve switched to rinsing (and not shampooing) my hair every other day. But my hair hasn’t gotten quite used to this change yet, so on the second day it looks fairly oily. I’ve been thinking about getting a dry shampoo to alleviate this problem but I’ve got black hair and most dry shampoos are white powders. Then one day I saw Mark Anthony’s Clear Dry Shampoo on sale and thought I’d give it a shot, despite the lack of reviews.
   Diagnosis – uhh, it doesn’t do a thing! I shake it up and spray it on and nothing happens, my hair is just as flat and oily as before. Even the nice smell of the dry shampoo wears off within a few minutes. Clearly I should have gone with Klorane like the internet advised me. Maybe next time.
   Overall rating: 3/10 (at least it doesn’t make my hair look worse?)

Masterlist: Blog Project

I was taking a look at this blog recently and noticed there has been a precipitous drop in how frequently I've posted in the last couple years. I went from around fifty posts in 2010 to approximately twenty posts in 2011 to a measly six posts in 2012! I know the reason for this (I blogged so much because I was bored and spent most of my free time at the computer... not the case anymore) but at the same time I want to rectify the situation somewhat and find a happy medium.

Therefore, I am going to schedule a bunch of posts (selected topics courtesy of 100 Blog Topics I Hope YOU Write) and hopefully that will get the creative juices going. I need more creativity back in my life!

Niche Dance Videos: A YouTube Compilation

It's no secret that I am a big fan of dance music. Not to be hipster about it, but I was into David Guetta before he was collaborating with rap stars and such. ;) Anyway, I've noticed that there are a number of dance videos out there with a common theme of "young woman throws off the shackles of her day job and parties instead". Makes sense, because let's face it, dance music makes us want to party! So I thought it would be nice to start a running playlist on YouTube. Presenting: "Work Sucks, Dance Instead", for your viewing enjoyment. Be warned, most of the videos are NSFW. Dance music might be awesome on the ears but for the eyes... well, there's a lot of T&A to contend with. :P

Another iPhone App Round-up!

Here are the apps I am currently digging! Nothing like the warm glow of your iPhone screen to keep you warm on these pseudo-winter nights when it should be breezy but it's snowing instead. ;)

Overgram – As the name suggests, this app ties in with Instagram. All it really does is allow you to add text to a square photo and then save/import to Instagram. But if you're an Instagram/graphic design addict like me (and you like to quote shit a lot) then this is the app for you. Added bonus: when you import to Instagram your share will be pre-populated with a crapload of hashtags designed to get you tons of likes. There are varying levels you can upgrade this app to; 99 cents lets you remove the watermark, $1.99 opens up more font choices. || Check them out! - @Overgram


InstaWeather Free – Another app that ties in with Instagram! This one allows you to take a photo and the app will add your location and weather forecast to the image, then you can ship it off to Instagram for sharing. Perfect for bitching about unexpected snowstorms or rubbing in your tropical vacation. ;) I'm using the free version, the Pro version removes the watermark and releases other layouts for the forecasts.
|| Check them out! - @InstaWeatherApp


Robotek – Now onto games! The premise here: robots have taken over the earth and you have to use some hacked robots of your own to take over various "nodes" around the globe. It's a turn-based strategy fighting game with great music and lots of creativity. Gets repetitive after a certain point though, and later on the enemies get so hard you can't go forward without in-game purchases.


Supermagical – A bubble-blaster type game with a little twist on the controls and a very cute storyline. Be warned: the twist in controls makes this game a lot harder than most, plus you run out of coins very quickly, making in-game purchases necessary again.


Dungelot Lite – Dungeon crawling distilled to the essentials. I have the Lite version where you can only choose 2 of the 5 character types but even then it's still really fun to play. Basically, ye find yeself in yonder dungeon and have to battle monsters, find keys and treasure, rescue villagers, etc. No storyline, just pure dungeon. The mechanics for the dungeon crawl are a little similar to Minesweeper, which is an interesting twist.

Oh How Times Have Changed

I know I am super late to the Bollywood game but I finally saw the video for Fevicol Se from Dabangg 2 and I have A LOT OF THOUGHTS I need to share with the internets. First off, watch it yourself:

I have to admit that I was basically expecting Munni Badnam Part 2 and I love Malaika Arora for what she does with item numbers, so when the song started and Kareena's doing her thing I was like "hmm, meh... this seems low budget somehow."

Then Salman shows up and a lightbulb went off. This is a throwback tribute to the picturizations of the early 80s. Munni Badnam has a certain sense of intentionalness to it, as scripted as you can possibly get when Salman is involved haha. Fevicol Se strikes me as being less about us watching a performance and more about us watching Kareena and Salman having fun. It's supposed to make you remember the silliness of those old movies you used to watch as a kid/teen. It's a nostalgia trip! And it's unpolished in a wonderful sort of way. (See: Wabi-sabi.)

Also, ACTUAL INDIAN BACKUP DANCERS FOR KAREENA. Yes! More of that! I am so sick of seeing all these goris up in the club, it's distracting and I'm done with it. And I have to give Kareena props for her dancing; I remember how much me and my sister used to mock her non-existent dancing skills, look how far she's come! *hat tip*

And finally, LOL those lyrics had me cackling. Tandoori murgh? Namkeen butter? FEVICOL? SERIOUSLY?! LMAO brilliant. :D