A Very Long Post About Star Wars (And Yes, There Will Be Spoilers)

Part 1 – We Need To Talk About Legends

My father knows his children well. In 1997 when the Star Wars Special Edition was being released in theatres, he took his three kids to see A New Hope, with the promise that we would love them. I was 16, my little sister was 9. My father was right. We were hooked. But the movies weren’t enough. I needed more.

I started reading the novels of the Extended Universe, the EU. I read the campy wrongness of Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, I read about the powerful Nightsisters, the courtship of Princess Leia, the rise of Tarkin, the complex awesomeness of Mara Jade, and Luke’s Jedi Academy. I read about the new generation: Jacen and Jaina and Kyp Duron and Tenel Ka. I devoured the novels revolving around the Yuuzahn Vong. The internet happened and I discovered fanfic. One of my close friends in high school was my Star Wars BFF and we talked about the fic we were writing. My Star Wars BFF also chased me around her house when I accidently blurted out that Chewbacca had died in the latest book.

By the time I got to university, I didn’t have time to read Star Wars novels anymore. I only heard second hand about Jacen’s fall, about Ben Skywalker, about Mara’s murder.

And then Lucasfilms got sold.

30 years later. 30 years after ROTJ. In the EU, this was the point where the Galactic Republic finally defeated the Yuuzahn Vong. Han and Leia lost their youngest son. Luke had trained hundreds of Jedi apprentices. Jacen and Jaina transitioned to adulthood. I can’t imagine skipping the twenty-five to thirty books I had read beforehand and jumping directly into The Unifying Force novel. But here’s where we are, and from here the story picks up…

Part 2 – The Force Awakens, A Jacen Vs. Jaina Rematch

I haven’t read any of the new tie-in comics or novels yet. I’m fairly certain everything will pale in comparison to the novelization of Revenge of the Sith, which was emotionally damaging and heart-breakingly beautiful. All I have is the movie I have seen.

I love this movie, I really do. I couldn’t sleep for two hours after I’d seen it (the movie finished at 2am) because I couldn’t stop thinking about the universe that had lain out before me. Same but different. Like coming home two decades later and seeing it with grownup eyes.

The heart of this movie is unquestioningly Rey. Daisy Ridley carried the movie with the force of her acting. I can’t even explain how looking at Rey’s face on-screen made me feel… like I was about to vomit with excitement perhaps? That moment when she resists Kylo Ren’s mind-reading and mind-reads back at him… if anyone has watched the Avatar cartoon, they’ll understand why it reminded me of Aang and Ozai metaphysically battling for bending supremacy.

John Boyega’s Finn was a stroke of brilliance. That man is amazing. In the history of Star Wars, the evil grunts are always evil, always disposable. We know nothing of their exploits and feelings. But the reticent Stormtrooper, that’s a new angle. It humanizes individual enemies instead of painting them with broad strokes. Finn was the perfect foil to Rey. I know he has a smaller role in the next movie and that makes me sad.

There are no words for how adorable BB-8 is. I swear to god I will crochet one for myself and pet it every day. Its dejection when Finn says Poe is gone, its confusion at whether to believe Finn and tell Rey about the resistance base, its attempts to stay in one piece on the Falcon, how it tries to wake up R2. And at the end, BB and R2 and 3PO talking together like the cutest little droid family ever, oh my gosh.

From what I saw of Poe I liked. Hotshot pilots are always welcome, the younger the better. The instant bond between him and Finn was fantastic and their reunion at the base was perfect, as well as his reunion with BB.

I screamed “whaaaaaat” when Rey turned towards the garbage spaceship that was the Falcon. I laughed through Han’s typical tactic of trying to talk his way out of owing someone money (you’d think people would give an old war hero a break, damn). The strained reunion of Han and Leia broke my heart. Sorry to go all #Force4Ham right now but “have pity, they are working through the unimaginable.” And then the final tender caress when Han knows it’s over, Leia back at the command centre feeling his presence fade through the Force, the broken & defeated look on her face when Rey finally arrives, because only another Force user could truly feel her pain and offer compassion. Chewbacca with his head in his hands, deep in mourning.

(Aside Number 1: son of Han Solo my ass, let’s not play games, call him exactly what he is… the son of Leia Skywalker Organa)

I could have done without the heavy-handed Nazi flavour of the First Order but otherwise I loved the direction they were taken. Love the Flametroopers, loved Captain Phasma (wish there had been more of her), loved that Star Destroyers and Tie Fighters were still around. Snoke is the biggest mystery to me right now, I am salivating to see who he actually is and how he turned Ben Solo into Kylo Ren.

I still smile every time I think of Kylo flipping out when he hears bad news, demolishing an entire control panel wall with his lightsaber upon hearing bad news. He’s like a petulant teenager in a very unique position of power, a marked contrast from Vader’s terrifying silence. It was shocking to see how much of a youth Kylo still is, I do believe the woobiefication has already commenced. It was interesting to hear a different interpretation of the dark side, that one could be “seduced” by the light side, that Vader had actually fallen from his dark destiny as opposed to turning towards the light.

If anything, the ending was my least favourite part of the movie. It was too subdued, not celebratory enough, but I understood why it was done the way it was. I am so excited for Luke’s return, for more Jedi and Force mythos, for Jedi Temple exposition, and an extended training sequence between Luke and Rey.

(Aside Number 2: why do I suspect that it was Snoke leaving Rey on Jakku?)

I also look forward to hearing why Ben Solo went to the dark side. In the EU, Han and Leia’s children didn’t have the luxury of their parents’ attention, and were instead cared for by nannies and the galaxy’s deadliest bodyguards. But they didn’t bear any ill will towards Han or Leia because of their upbringing, and when they were pre-teens they happily went to Luke’s Jedi Academy. Danger and the dark side were always there, but those kids loved their parents more than anything. The Solo family was the bedrock of the EU. That’s clearly not the path taken here, and it will be interesting to see why it was not to be.

Part 3 – The Light and the Dark; The Force Awakens Soundtrack

The music of Star Wars is one of my great loves. John Williams is a fantastic movie soundtrack composer and to me, Star Wars is his best work. His soundtrack for The Force Awakens is good, but only good. To be quite frank, he hasn’t made a great Star Wars soundtrack since The Phantom Menace. Across the Stars was a great track but I didn’t even like anything from Revenge of The Sith.

But I digress. This soundtrack has one shining track of brilliance, and that is Rey’s Theme. It manages to be quiet and poignant while signifying something epic and transformative underneath. There are hidden depths lurking beneath those lilting bells and violins, a promise of a difficult but magnificent future. In her track, we hear promise and hope. This isn’t just a fantastic track, it’s magical and perfect.

The other standout track is Han and Leia, due to its generous callback leitmotif, but this time we hear a tentativeness, we hear the estrangement, the regret and lost years (Hamilton: “They are working through the unimaaaaginable”). I can feel my heart being squeezed to shatter, thinking about what they must have endured, apart, after their son became an agent of evil. And yet, they remain strong to their particular causes. They’re strong people. But it makes you wonder if family was ever something they could really do together. I’m reminded of how I used to write Bones fanfiction about how Brennan and Booth were terrible for each other, that any relationship they embarked on would be doomed to failure.

I particularly like Snoke’s track too, due to its blinding creepiness. I’m reminded of the scene between Palpatine and Anakin in ROTS, during the opera when the senator tells the young Jedi about Darth Plagueis. Ominous chanting, impending doom. But this track… this track. It feels… small. It was recorded in a small room, with two few voices…

This brings me to my main criticism and it’s not a criticism I thought I would endorse. John Williams has always recorded his Star Wars soundtracks using the London Symphony Orchestra. This time, he recorded in Los Angeles at the behest of J.J. Abrahams. You can sadly hear the difference. Play the opening theme from The Force Awakens then play the opening theme from The Phantom Menace and it becomes very clear. There’s a certain grandiose reverberation that has been lost in this most recent soundtrack. I sorely hope they allow J.Will to conduct with LSO again for episode 8.

Part 4 – Final Thoughts, a Legacy Unfolds

When I first heard that Disney had optioned more Star Wars movies, I was cranky as hell. Once you’re a certain age and your favourite movies issue closure, you don’t really want things to change. But Disney has a marketing department that is vast and unrelenting, like the Empire itself. Star Wars wasn’t even my One True Love growing up, that coveted spot will always belong to the X-Files. When the last X-Files movie came out, I didn’t even think about seeing it. I had my closure already, I was content to let that can of worms lie dormant. It was a movie marketed nowhere near as aggressively as Star Wars.

Disney’s ceaseless promotion of the Star Wars brand was quite effective in stirring up my enthusiasm. Clearly, they know what they’re doing, inciting excitement in adults and children alike. I don’t know if I’ll keep watching new Star Wars movies into my older years but knowing me I probably will. I hope I will. I’m not confident in the direction the brand will go and I would have been fine with no more movies, but here we are. And it’s all still magical.

Review – Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Full disclosure: I only read the first Hunger games book and the first third of Catching Fire (it was a pdf copy and I just couldn’t continue). But I’ve read the synopsis on Wikipedia so I know the major deaths/outcomes and conclusion. I am NOT ready for that terrible terrible death that happens in Mockingjay. D:

Katniss was always cool, we all know that, but this was the movie that made me really adore her. Katniss is everything teenaged me would have wanted to be, and everything that adult me realizes I could never be. She is a rule breaker, the girl who doesn’t smile when you ask her to unless it serves her purpose, confused and bold, impassioned behind a mask of ice. But beyond all that, she is powerful and competent and a threat. Her actions, no matter how insignificant, can topple an empire. She is the unwilling metaphor who did not wish for the future she was given, but love and family thrust her down a path she could have never predicted.

The only times I ever teared up in the movie were the parts with Cinna and Effie. Oh my gosh Cinna, Kravitz is like a beacon of pure sanity in these movies, there is nothing I do not like about him. I love that he used fashion to stick it to the empire, even though it cost him in the end. But I get the feeling he knew what he was doing when he took that chance with Katniss’ dress. And Effie, oh my gosh Effie, I totally bawled every time she was like “we’re a TEAM and I will bedeck the TEAM so help me god”, like, bless your heart my dear, you love your bb victors so damn much and she was SO NOT COOL with the Quarterquell.

When I first started getting into the Hunger Games series, I was massively on Team Gale because I wanted Katniss to be with someone she had already felt longterm friendship/affection for, not someone the system had coerced her into pretending to love. But then I read what happened in Mockingjay and, well, as my Chinese coworker said, “he went all communist by the end, ugh.” But Peeta definitely is growing on me, especially once I read all the articles about how the Peeta/Katniss relationship is basically gender-flipped tropes. Peeta is compassionate and emotional and bakes bread and Katniss has to save his ass all the time? Beautiful. I am NOT ready to watch what happens to him in Mockingjay.

But I found it interesting that compared to the books, they definitely tweaked how Katniss felt about both Peeta and Gale. In the books she’s very “how the hell should I know what love is?” but in the movies she’s more like “you’re both lovely but now is not the time dammit!”

I do wonder though, what the heck the rest of the world is thinking while shit goes down in Panem. Like, I guess Panem gave the United Nations the middle finger or something? And, like, China and Indian are just watching from afar and shaking their heads while curing cancer and sending space missions to Mars? And do Canadians download illegal bootlegs of the Hunger Games and watch it going “wtf eh?” NEW HEADCANNON.

But seriously though am I the only one weirded out by the lack of Asian people in the Hunger Games movies? It’s not the best series diversity-wise. Hell, they even upped the ante with a “token black district”. :P

Review – Thor 2: The Dark World (Spoilers!)

When I came in to work this morning, I announced that I had seen Thor 2 the day before. Immediately, the coworkers around me mentioned that they loved the Thor series because LOKI and omg isn’t Loki awesome? I, on the other hand, have never much fallen into the fangirl/fanboy spell Loki seems to cast upon its watchers. I watch Thor for THOR and his bulging biceps and chistled jaw.

But Thor 2? Well, okay, I see it now. Loki is kind of amazing in this movie.

I truly enjoyed this movie, it was the perfect blend of action, mythology, comedy, and tragedy all rolled into one. Some random thoughts I’d like to share:

1. I’ve often said that I’m sick of movies with massive casual first world genocide while the hero and villain battle it out (see: Star Trek, Superman, etc.) and thankfully Thor didn’t fall into this trap with destroying thousands of innocent Londoners. The trade-off, I suppose, is that a shitload of Asgardians died, bringing me to point two...
2. OMFG killing Frigga, I... ugh. She was so badass fighting Malekith and then they fridged her to increase Loki’s manpain? Wah. Also, I know too much of actual Norse mythology not to be irritated by it, she’s one of the most important Norse gods! That being said, the funeral scene was one of the prettiest scenes ever (and gave me mad Game of Thrones feels, haha). Speaking of manpain...
3. Yeah, I totally fell for Loki’s manpain. I know, I know, it was all a massive gambit in the end. But dude, he really did love Frigga. When Thor made him drop his illusion in the dungeon and he was all broken and in despair... so woobie omg. And when he tells Thor he didn’t sacrifice his life for him, you know every step he has taken was not all for his long con, he wanted vengeance for his mother as well.
4. Can we talk about Jane for a bit? Actually, can we talk about Aether Jane for a bit? I honestly thought that they were foreshadowing that she was going to go evil, with the black eyeballs and the electric blue irises and visions of destruction she was having. Now THAT would have rocked my world a little bit. It’s the only real disappointment I have, but nothing a little fanfic won’t fix. ;)
5. It was nice to see Selvig and Darcy again. Selvig was especially hilarious with his aversion to pants. BRO, I know that feel. Also kinda hilarious-awesome was Loki pretending to be Captain America. “Let’s have a discussion about truth and justice!” LOL.
6. Since I am a massive appreciator of Thor, I would like to squee about him a bit. OMG SQUEE! Hooray for his shirtless scene! And he’s just so straight-forward and earnest and adorable. I laughed so hard when he had to take the Tube back to Greenwich and the woman was all “oops the subway shifted and I had to fall against your rugged manly chest, sorry!” I’d do the same thing haha.
7. I loved that most of the movie took place in Asgard, and I was quite impressed how they managed to make Asgard both timelessly ancient but technologically powerful as well. It’s like... by virtue of being part of the Marvel universe, they need to tread that science fiction line despite the fact that we’re dealing with ancient gods here.
8. I just KNEW this whole mythology is building up to the Infinity Gauntlet. All this talk about stones and we’ve already seen Thanos, eeeee can’t wait! On the other hand, all this Guardians of the Galaxy business looks terrible. As the guy sitting next to me in the theatre said, “I don’t want to watch a movie with a talking raccoon in it.” FOR REAL BRO.
9. I dunno guys, for some reason I got major OT3 feels when it was just Thor and Loki taking Jane to Malekith. Like, I would be completely satisfied with a movie just was just the three of them slogging through some godforsaken land while Loki snarks and Thor beats things up and Jane figures shit out. LOL sounds like one of those last Harry Potter movies.
10. Overall impression: solid movie with action, humour, and just enough complexity to make you salivate for a sequel!

Rating: 8.5/10

C.S. Lewis Is A Life Ruiner

So I’ve finished all of the Narnia books and I have to say... that last one left a really bad taste in my mouth. The basic summary goes thusly: everything is weird and goes to shit, plus Susan is barred from heaven for no real reason. Seriously, I feel like Lewis crapped all over what could have been a joyous and happy moment by excluding her from the final novel, for... what, really? Punished her for liking girly things? Seriously?? Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest sister in my family, but it felt a bit like a slap in the face.

Also, the last novel had a lot more Calormene evilness in it, and that shit was just way too racist for me to handle. It was bad enough to deal with in The Horse and His Boy but, like, really? The entire series we only ever meet TWO Calmormenes who are not terrible people: Aravis and Emeth. And yes, I get it, they’re the Bad Guys, but to make them so heavy-handedly “eastern” and I DON’T CARE, “DARKIE” IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE NICKNAME EVER.

Sigh.

It’s just too bad, really. I enjoyed the first two books and adored Voyage. Silver Chair and Magician’s Nephew are kind of boring but had interesting parts. Then everything fell apart after that and I’m left with a bitter taste in my mouth at the end.

In related news, apparently they’re going to make a movie for The Silver Chair? I still haven’t seen any of the movies yet, so that’s going to be my new Netflix challenge. :)

Books Ahoy

I’ve been a bit of a reading machine lately. In the last month, I’ve finished off 5 books in total. On to the reviews! (As always, spoilers lie beyond here.)

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami: I mentioned this book before and how it was everything I ever dreamed of in a large, sprawling novel. In all honestly though the first half of the book is more interesting than the second half. There’s such a wide range of interesting characters like Ayumi, the Dowager, Fuka-Eri, Komatsu, and Professor Ebisuno. But they all sort of disappear as the novel moves into the second half, focusing on the epic fated love of Aomame and Tengo instead of conspiracies and the nature of writing. Would have preferred more of Ayumi and Aomame picking up guys in expensive bars and less of Tengo visiting his comatose father. And I wish they had explained more of what exactly the Little People were, whether Fuka-Eri was the maza or dohta, why there was a second moon in the sky, etc. But still, excellent read. I’d give it a score of 8/10.

A Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling: I started reading this book and feeling incredibly bored by this tale of small-town plebes and their trivial, insignificant small-town problems. In fact, that’s how I felt for the majority of the book. It just so happened that at some point, I desperately wanted to know what happened to these petty jerks. All the characters were so incredibly flawed that I had no sympathy for most of them. But after a certain point, I wanted everything to turn out alright for these petty jerks, but I knew that wouldn’t happen because it was an adult novel, not a Bollywood movie. So I went on Wikipedia and read the ending, which was probably a good thing because the ending was incredibly saddening and unfulfilling and I would have thrown the book out the window if I hadn’t known beforehand. Read the book if it somehow falls into your lap. Or not, whatever. One can live without it. I give it a score of 6.5/10.

Chronicles of Narnia – Yes, the whole series. I’m not done the whole thing yet (currently I’m in the middle of The Silver Chair) but I have thoughts for the moment. The books I’ve read so far in order are: The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe, Prince Caspian, and Voyage of the Dawntreader. Yup, going in published order. I actually read TLWW years ago (and The Magician’s Nephew too) but I think I wasn’t even in high school yet. Aaanyways, yes I’ve been making my way through the series. And obviously I knew going in that the whole series is a giant Bible parallel but man, non-Christian me gets the jibblies sometimes with the heavy-handedness of it all. Lewis is very clear about things he believe are Right and things that are Wrong, and sometimes I just throw my hands in the air at his beliefs. Anyway, the stories are still really engaging. My favourite so far is actually VDT, which I thought I would dislike because sailing = blah. But there was something magical about the journey to the east, the sunlight and the calm sweet waters. PC was most interesting at the beginning and the end, while the middle was a lump of boring. TLWW was interesting as well, but since I had read it once already I had a vague recollection of most of the details, which made it less engaging. Thus far SC has been rather annoying; Eustace and Jill are by far the most annoying and hasty children to grace the series thus far. I miss Lucy, LOL.

Praise Where Praise Is Due

I remember learning once in school that people are more likely to leave reviews for service or products when the review is a negative one. For that reason, I make an effort to inform people when something goes right or if I have a good experience. Here are two such recent examples.

1. Rogers

It’s actually no secret... I hate Rogers. But in a very specific way. I don’t like the prices they charge, I don’t like their packages, their offerings are so limited and inflexible, and I lord help you if you try to call them with an issue. There is an exception to their generally crappy customer service though, and that is the @RogersHelps twitter account. Bless those account users, they sure try their darndest to help.

It all started two Sundays ago, when my internet suddenly ground to a crawl. No matter what I did to the computer or router or modem, I just couldn’t get the connection to improve. I shouted my anger to the skies aka tweeted my agony to @RogersHelps and they did their best to help out, but in the end they set up a technician visit for me. And while Rogers has crap customer service, their technicians sure are pros. The guy came by a couple days later and found out my modem was broken, so he gave me a new one, as well as new ethernet cables, just in case. Well played, Rogers. But I’m still leaving you once my contract is up. :P

2. Groupon

I’ve been known to use Groupon every now and then, mostly for services. (e.g. haircuts, massages, pedicures, etc.) A couple weeks ago, I decided my shoulders had had enough and it was time for another massage. I checked out the best deals online, compared websites and resources between all the different companies, and finally decided on purchasing a groupon from my top pick. This week, I tried to make an appointment and found the phone number was firstly wrong on the Groupon page, then when I went to check the correct number on the website I discovered the website was gone. D: Good thing Google caches everything, so I found the right phone number on a cached version of the site... but the phone line was out of service. Double plus ungood! At this point, if everything had suddenly resolved itself (phone and website fixed) I still would have felt too sketched out by this company to use their services anymore, so I requested Groupon look into it. Less than 24 hours later, I find an email in my inbox confirming a full refund in Groupon bucks. Would have preferred a refund directly to my credit card, but this will do.

From CDs to iTunes Downloads: a Great Gatsby Soundtrack Review

I’m interrupting my regularly scheduled blog topics to insert a very important post about Baz Luhrman, movie soundtracks, and how single song downloads have changed the way we listen to music. Yes, that’s right, this is a Great Gatsby OST post!

First off, listen to the soundtrack. You can either sample it on iTunes (I think it released yesterday) or listen to the whole album free on NPR: First Listen: Music From Baz Luhrman’s Film The Great Gatsby.

Now, personally, I’ve got real soft spots for previous Baz Luhrman soundtracks such as Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge. The music from Romeo + Juliet instantly takes me back to grade 10. Everyone had that CD. I remember a couple of the older kids in our drama class even created this cool contemporary routine with the Radiohead song on that soundtrack in the background. Not only that, the artists selected for the album and their varying styles of music are so indicative of the time period; grungy rock giving way to peppy pop.

The Moulin Rouge soundtrack isn’t quite the same, since it was a musical itself a lot of the movie’s songs are included on it. But I think the runaway hit from the soundtrack, Lady Marmalade with Pink and Lil Kim and Christina Aguilera and Mya, kind of sums up the time period well in itself. Trashy pop y’all!

The thing about the above two soundtracks is that I bought them as CDs. And while it’s relatively easy to skip around to your favourite songs, it’s much easier to just listen to the whole thing in one sitting. Which means that you eventually learn to enjoy most of the songs, while your favourites are little nuggets of joy in the course of your listening experience. That’s how it used to be. But with the advent of iTunes, you don’t need to get the whole album anymore. You download your favourites and leave the rest alone. That’s how I usually do it these days, haven’t listened to a whole album through since maybe 2005. Until now!

If you clicked on the link above, you’ll see that there’s a 57 minute track with the whole Gatsby album on it. And I’m kind of digging listening to the whole thing as opposed to my favourite 3 songs. And the best part is that all the songs are good, but when my favourites pop up... nugget of joy! It’s making me very nostalgic for that old way we listened to music. Anyways, my favourites are:

“Over The Love” by Florence + The Machine – her singing is so epic and it almost feels like they couldn’t create a score to match that epicness. ;)

“Hearts A Mess” by Gotye – this is WAY better than his song with Kimbra. It gives me a lot of “Talk Show Host” by Radiohead (from the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack) feels.

“Into The Past” by Nero – the closest thing to dubstep on the album, which y’all knew had to be represented for our current time period. It’s got a dreamy electronic feel to it.

Overall, extremely enjoyable album; I like it better than Moulin Rouge but Romeo + Juliet still holds the #1 spot.

Rating: 8/10

Blog Topic #37 - Book Shopping (Buy These Books)

Another amendment: Blog Topic #37 – Book Shopping (Buy Read These Books). Cause being thrifty is awesome and more power to you if you can get these books at the library or borrow them from a friend!

Any list like this is going to be extremely biased and personal to the author, but I’m going to give its a shot anyway. These are the books that found their way into my life and will be a part of my bookshelf till the day I die or can’t read anymore:

Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie – This is a book that manages to be beautiful and poetic on one side while being frustrating and bizarre on the other. The real highlight is Rushdie’s prose though, in this novel his craft is at its height. It’s almost as if he’s plucked the words from the brain of some cosmic maestro. Well worth the read, especially with a couple different plotlines to keep the reader occupied.

A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth – Despite being alarmingly hefty, this book is one of my favourites. In fact, after I finished if for the first time I was saddened to realize I was only 20 years old and had already read the best book of my life. ;P You need to prepare yourself for this book. There are so many characters that Seth had to include a couple family trees in the beginning for reference purposes, and their stories intertwine in the most surprising ways. There’s also an in-depth focus on Indian politics soon after its independence, which can be dry for some (myself included). But I ended this book feeling like I had just read a story about my own distant relatives, that’s how real Seth makes his story.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë – I picked this book as an English project in grade 11 and was startled by how much I liked it. Then when I was in university I bought a discounted copy and realized that I could enjoy the story far more now that I was an adult. In fact, the older I get, the richer this novel becomes. Bronte was a trailblazer of her time and it shows through the main character’s actions and the little soapbox moments the author throws in every now and then. For a classic, it’s completely relatable for a modern woman like me, which is why I suppose it’s a classic to begin with. In the end, I’m enamoured with the way Jane Eyre is a lot like me.

Innocence by Kathleen Tessaro – I think this novel is categorized as “chick lit” but I don’t understand why, other than the fact that the main character is a woman and she has relationship issues. But the book is so much more than that. Romance plays second fiddle to the angst and agony of past choices, finding your calling, and the figuring out if you have the courage to truly live life. I think if you’re someone who spends a lot of time inside your own head and in search of your purpose, you’d enjoy this book.

JPod by Douglas Coupland – Coupland is known for his unorthodox writing style and frankly I find it something to aspire towards! As someone who does a lot of technical computer stuff at work and at home, this book was so much fun. Completely irreverent and seemingly lacking any kind of cohesion or plot, you get caught up in a world where nonsense is the norm in an otherwise stale existence. Also, with bonus Canadian content!

The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni – Back to the Indian stories; I know it’s been interpreted and postulated for ages but who can say no to a fictional examination of the Mahabharata from Draupadi’s perspective? I have to admit that when I started the book, I was flailing a little because I felt like I was reading something mildly blasphemous. But after a couple reveals I was flailing in a good way. That being said, I don’t understand how anyone who isn’t Hindu would get the kind of enjoyment I did out of this book. Therefore I humbly request that all you non-Hindus out there find a copy and tell me what you think. ;)

Product Review Time!

I’m the kind of person that companies love, in the sense that when it comes to brand loyalty I’m the ideal customer. Once I find a product I like, I will buy it over and over again without much reconsideration. I may even end up filling my life with an assortment of products from a specific company just because I like what they do. I’m a creature of habit, ultimately. Which is why it’s surprising that I decided to branch out and try a couple new things from my local drugstore.

1. Perfect example of my brand loyalty: when I was 18 I got a free sample of Glycomed hand lotion and loved it so much that I used nothing else for the next 14 years! But for some reason when my last bottle ran out I decided I was done with Glycomed, it wasn’t giving me the results I wanted and I didn’t care for the smell anymore. I did some research online and read some reviews and ended up buying Jergens Ultra Care moisturizing body lotion.
   Diagnosis – wow, I am seriously impressed! Within a couple days my skin was already feeling smoother and softer than it had been in a long time, and now that it’s been about a week the appearance of my skin is less cracked and dry-looking as well. It even feels warm on my skin when I first put it on. Smell is nice, no complaints there.
   Overall rating: 9/10 (it’s so good I recommended it to my mother!)
2. My hair has been fairly oily for as long as I can remember, which meant as a teenager I couldn’t stand going a single day without shampooing my hair. But I’ve come to realize how terrible that actually is for my hair and I’ve switched to rinsing (and not shampooing) my hair every other day. But my hair hasn’t gotten quite used to this change yet, so on the second day it looks fairly oily. I’ve been thinking about getting a dry shampoo to alleviate this problem but I’ve got black hair and most dry shampoos are white powders. Then one day I saw Mark Anthony’s Clear Dry Shampoo on sale and thought I’d give it a shot, despite the lack of reviews.
   Diagnosis – uhh, it doesn’t do a thing! I shake it up and spray it on and nothing happens, my hair is just as flat and oily as before. Even the nice smell of the dry shampoo wears off within a few minutes. Clearly I should have gone with Klorane like the internet advised me. Maybe next time.
   Overall rating: 3/10 (at least it doesn’t make my hair look worse?)

Another iPhone App Round-up!

Here are the apps I am currently digging! Nothing like the warm glow of your iPhone screen to keep you warm on these pseudo-winter nights when it should be breezy but it's snowing instead. ;)

Overgram – As the name suggests, this app ties in with Instagram. All it really does is allow you to add text to a square photo and then save/import to Instagram. But if you're an Instagram/graphic design addict like me (and you like to quote shit a lot) then this is the app for you. Added bonus: when you import to Instagram your share will be pre-populated with a crapload of hashtags designed to get you tons of likes. There are varying levels you can upgrade this app to; 99 cents lets you remove the watermark, $1.99 opens up more font choices. || Check them out! - @Overgram


InstaWeather Free – Another app that ties in with Instagram! This one allows you to take a photo and the app will add your location and weather forecast to the image, then you can ship it off to Instagram for sharing. Perfect for bitching about unexpected snowstorms or rubbing in your tropical vacation. ;) I'm using the free version, the Pro version removes the watermark and releases other layouts for the forecasts.
|| Check them out! - @InstaWeatherApp


Robotek – Now onto games! The premise here: robots have taken over the earth and you have to use some hacked robots of your own to take over various "nodes" around the globe. It's a turn-based strategy fighting game with great music and lots of creativity. Gets repetitive after a certain point though, and later on the enemies get so hard you can't go forward without in-game purchases.


Supermagical – A bubble-blaster type game with a little twist on the controls and a very cute storyline. Be warned: the twist in controls makes this game a lot harder than most, plus you run out of coins very quickly, making in-game purchases necessary again.


Dungelot Lite – Dungeon crawling distilled to the essentials. I have the Lite version where you can only choose 2 of the 5 character types but even then it's still really fun to play. Basically, ye find yeself in yonder dungeon and have to battle monsters, find keys and treasure, rescue villagers, etc. No storyline, just pure dungeon. The mechanics for the dungeon crawl are a little similar to Minesweeper, which is an interesting twist.

Oh How Times Have Changed

I know I am super late to the Bollywood game but I finally saw the video for Fevicol Se from Dabangg 2 and I have A LOT OF THOUGHTS I need to share with the internets. First off, watch it yourself:

I have to admit that I was basically expecting Munni Badnam Part 2 and I love Malaika Arora for what she does with item numbers, so when the song started and Kareena's doing her thing I was like "hmm, meh... this seems low budget somehow."

Then Salman shows up and a lightbulb went off. This is a throwback tribute to the picturizations of the early 80s. Munni Badnam has a certain sense of intentionalness to it, as scripted as you can possibly get when Salman is involved haha. Fevicol Se strikes me as being less about us watching a performance and more about us watching Kareena and Salman having fun. It's supposed to make you remember the silliness of those old movies you used to watch as a kid/teen. It's a nostalgia trip! And it's unpolished in a wonderful sort of way. (See: Wabi-sabi.)

Also, ACTUAL INDIAN BACKUP DANCERS FOR KAREENA. Yes! More of that! I am so sick of seeing all these goris up in the club, it's distracting and I'm done with it. And I have to give Kareena props for her dancing; I remember how much me and my sister used to mock her non-existent dancing skills, look how far she's come! *hat tip*

And finally, LOL those lyrics had me cackling. Tandoori murgh? Namkeen butter? FEVICOL? SERIOUSLY?! LMAO brilliant. :D

Bollywood Movie Review: Agneepath (2012)

I don't usually watch Bollywood movies and have a whole lot to say about them, but for some reason my brain can't stop thinking about this movie. To start off, let me say that I liked it. It wasn't particularly spectacular or mind-blowing but I did find the movie to be enjoyable. Then again, I haven't seen the original Amitabh version, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. ;)

If you don't want to be spoiled for the rest of the movie then I would suggest not reading forward! It's pretty long review too. Apparently I had more thoughts than I originally realized.

You could tell just by watching this movie that it was a remake of a 70s Amitabh movie, simply by virtue of the story/plot as well as Hrithik's acting method... STOIC VENGEFUL YOUNG MAN. Of course, Hrithik being Hrithik he also showed emotion as only he can: with those wonderfully wounded soulful eyes of his. Ahem. But I digress. Yes, great emotionality, especially anything concerning his family. The scene where he sits outside his mother's house wolfing down her food and confesses to Kaali that he's been waiting 15 years for his mother to love him is quite the tear-jerker. Hrithik does a great job of balancing Vijay's cold-hearted killing with the love he has for those close to him.


"I may be a stoic killer, but wait till you see me dance!"
Priyanka was enjoyable in the role of Kaali. She kept the peace and cheered Vijay up, and the audience laughed their assess off when she preened like a peacock or yapped away. I think she looked fantastic and her outfits were all pretty as well. The picturization for Gun Gun Guna was one of the best parts of the movie; I definitely wouldn't mind having it on a song DVD. And to be honest, when she suddenly died I was really sad, mostly because I thought: "she died before consummating her marriage with the hotness of Vijay? THERE IS NO HUMANITY!" :P But after the movie I watched the picturization for "O Saiyan" (which was cut from our version of the movie) and realized that they had consummated the relationship, so I was satisfied, hahaha.


"Pay no attention to my extremely botoxed lips!"
But without a doubt, the movie belonged to Sanjay Dutt. He was pure nightmare fuel as Kancha, a heartless monster who used the Bhagavad Gita to explain and rationalize his lack of morals. O_o That was one of the most interesting aspects of the movie actually, just seeing how the unquestioningly evil villain could twist Krishna's words about removing desire and attachment to attain bliss and enlightenment into a rationale for unchecked profiteering, power, and cruelty. Kancha was absolutely wacked out of his gourd and I still sort of don't believe that Vijay could have killed him because DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT GUY?


"We wants more cocaine, preciousssss..."
This review wouldn't be complete without mention of the songs, specifically Katrina Kaif's item number "Chikni Chameli". In my opinion: a big fat meh. The dancing wasn't that great and I don't even really like the song all that much. I feel like the combination of Katrina dancing for a song sung by Shreya didn't give the song that low-down dirrrty factor they were going for. Katrina does great item numbers, but she has a certain amount of sexy class when she does them. And Shreya's voice was just somehow too innocent sounding for a hot item number. I find it interesting that in this movie Shreya did a typical Sunidhi song and Sunidhi did a typically Shreya song (Gun Gun Guna).


"What I am doing in this movie? Even I don't know."
While we're on the topic of the songs, I just want to say that I really liked the song "Shah Ka Rutba", it's a great qawali and quite catchy. Actually, it's interesting that there's one mega-Muslim song (Shah Ka Rutba) and one mega-Hindu song (Deva Shree Ganesha) in the movie.

Some final thoughts. It was interesting to see Rishi Kapoor in such a horrible role, he played a great villain... I still haven't recovered from how he was trafficking those poor young girls, so disgusting! The movie had some great shots that I'd love to turn into desktop wallpaper too; the one that sticks out in my mind is when Lala is in the hospital and Vijay comes back to the head-quaters to sit in Lala's seat. The background is a dark green and there's a rich maroon blanket draped over the chair and the spotlight hits Hrithik just right... *_*

Alright, enough my gushing! As far as criticisms go, the one thing that I couldn't ignore is that movie has a very dated plot, but it's a remake so you can't really help that. It's a very long movie, almost three hours, and the first half seemed to drag a bit more than the second half. It was also quite a melodramatic movie, but again I sort of knew it was coming because Karan Johar directed it. ;)

Overall, I'd give this movie an 8.0/10. Solid movie with good songs and some awesome acting, just remember that you will basically be watching an overwrought 70s remake. ;)