(WARNING: LONG, profanity laden post ahead! And a lot doesn't make sense!)
A few of my friends IRL have heard my opinion on the new song by Pink, 'Stupid Girl', but I think it bears repeating. If only for my benefit: seeing all my rambling thoughts in text form. For those who don't know this song, you can find the lyrics here. What the fuck (that's right, FUCK!) is with the censorship? *honestly puzzled* In the video, we have a little girl watching Pink on television. Pink does some obviously mocking imitations of Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, et al. and in the end the little girl looks at her dolls and playhouse on her right, then looks at her footbal and microscope on the left, grabs the football and runs outside to play.
Anyway, my biggest beef with this song came to me moments after I heard the song for the first time. Firstly, why the hell can't a woman can be feminine and girl and then be smart/powerful at the same time?! You know what? I love sparkly jewellery and shimmering nailpolish. I love perusing Sephora for eyeshadow that I clearly don't need. I love having a lipstick shade for every occasion. I truly and firmly believe that one cannot have too many shoes. And I love finding that perfect bra that makes my boobies look fantastic AND makes me feel fantastic. I mean, damn Pink! What's wrong with wanting to have a little doggie to carry around with you??
Note: I do realize that things like makeup and cleavege amplifying bras are tools patriarchal society uses to reduce women to nothing more than sexual objects. But a woman who doesn't mind being a sexual object from time to time should not be shamed into feeling she is wrong. Women and men both have sexual identities that have to be recognized, denying that is foolishness. But no one respects a whore, right? Which leads me to my second observation; the song perpetuates the time honoured tradition of turning women against each other. Girls who are into lipgloss and partying at the club obviously don't have any respect for girls who like to read books and and play ultimate frisbee. And vice versa, right? *BZZZT* WRONG! I do all four of those things motherfucker! I'm not even going to get on a tangent about how Christianity (and the virgin/whore complex) has seriously fucked up the world in perpetuating misogyny...
The worst part about the video is that is teaches the lesson that being a man is only way to succeed, the only worthwhile path to any respect. FOOTBALL! YOU WANT TO PLAY FOOTBALL! AND WEAR GRUBBY CLOTHES. Fuck that! Is that the only way to get respect? By being a man?? I thought the point of feminism was making sure that WOMEN were respected for what they were, not to weed out their "girlish qualities". If I ever have the chance to take part in a corporate takeover, I want to be able to wear sparkly silver stilettoes and a fluffy pink sweater without anyone saying a single word. I will kick your ass and I will look fantastic!
Fuck. If women (and men) would stop parroting the bullshit that male dominated society preaches, we could actually fix some of this shit.
Mar 29, 2006
Mar 26, 2006
Patriotism and Music
Let's switch topics: from gender identity to cultural identity. How many national anthems does the average person know? This is a question I'm honestly curious about. I know that here in Canada, a lot people know two... ours and America's. When I was in grade 6, I was in the choir and we were applying to sing the national anthem at a Blue Jays game. I think Toronto was playing Boston, so we had to learn the American national anthem for our demo tape. And the eventual performance, of course. And the writers of The Simpsons were right: the US national anthem is quite the battle-cry compared to our anthem. But I digress...
I can sing two national anthems with confidence. But as a small kid I often wondered if I should have learned the Indian national anthem as well. I can still remember when we as a family would attend these cultural functions with the singing and plays and music, and before each event started everyone would sing Jana Gana Mana. Well, all the adults would sing, at least. Us second generation kids, most of us no more than eight or nine years old, would look around sheepishly and try to blend in with our surroundings.
But I can hum the Indian national anthem! Does that count for anything? There are only three parts I know the words to: the beginning ("Jana Gana Mana", obviously), the part somewhere in the middle about the Yamuna and Ganga, and the "Jaya Hai" part at the end. Somewhere in the back of mind I can remember my dad telling me that there was no need for any of us kids to learn the Indian national anthem, because we lived in Canada.
As a parting thought, I do believe my favourite national anthem is the Bangladeshi anthem. It's beautiful and lyrical and picturesque. Then again, it was written by Rabindranath Tagore (the famed Indian poet), so it's no surprise that it sounds so poetic. Also, China most definately beats America out in the "battle-cry anthem" category.
I can sing two national anthems with confidence. But as a small kid I often wondered if I should have learned the Indian national anthem as well. I can still remember when we as a family would attend these cultural functions with the singing and plays and music, and before each event started everyone would sing Jana Gana Mana. Well, all the adults would sing, at least. Us second generation kids, most of us no more than eight or nine years old, would look around sheepishly and try to blend in with our surroundings.
But I can hum the Indian national anthem! Does that count for anything? There are only three parts I know the words to: the beginning ("Jana Gana Mana", obviously), the part somewhere in the middle about the Yamuna and Ganga, and the "Jaya Hai" part at the end. Somewhere in the back of mind I can remember my dad telling me that there was no need for any of us kids to learn the Indian national anthem, because we lived in Canada.
As a parting thought, I do believe my favourite national anthem is the Bangladeshi anthem. It's beautiful and lyrical and picturesque. Then again, it was written by Rabindranath Tagore (the famed Indian poet), so it's no surprise that it sounds so poetic. Also, China most definately beats America out in the "battle-cry anthem" category.
Mar 24, 2006
Feminism And Sons
The best part about rediscovering feminism, for me at least, has been an unexpected surprise. To be succint, feminism has taught me how to raise any sons I ever have.
I've always had a general idea of how I would raise my daughter(s), even as a pre-teen. I'm guessing most of that has to do with the fact that I take my own life experience and extrapolate how to prepare a girl of mine for the world. But the thought of raising a boy has always bewildered me. Deep down, there was some part of me that feared that if/when I have a son, we would be completely alienated and I wouldn't know how to associate or relate to him. I don't know what life is like for a boy. But by seeing all the bad ideas and opinions men can have on women, I'm starting to get an inkling of how I do want to raise a son of mine.
I've always had a general idea of how I would raise my daughter(s), even as a pre-teen. I'm guessing most of that has to do with the fact that I take my own life experience and extrapolate how to prepare a girl of mine for the world. But the thought of raising a boy has always bewildered me. Deep down, there was some part of me that feared that if/when I have a son, we would be completely alienated and I wouldn't know how to associate or relate to him. I don't know what life is like for a boy. But by seeing all the bad ideas and opinions men can have on women, I'm starting to get an inkling of how I do want to raise a son of mine.
Mar 8, 2006
A Brain Is A Horrible Thing To Waste
(Today is 'Blog Against Sexism Day'. This might not fit, but maybe I'll be inspired at a later time tonight.)
When I first started my undergrad, I often wished that there was an elective history course that explained how Europeans became the most influential group of people in the course of human civilization's progress. I recently got a decent answer sort of answer after reading Guns, Germs and Steel. Now I find myself wishing for a short course on the consistent development of patriarchy throughout all of earth's cultures. It's good that we discuss the current problems in today's society, but I am a curious person and always want to know why?
I'm currently reading an article on protective head-wear and turbans at work. It's interesting how it ties in with the Sikh issues in France that I was talking about yesterday. Here's an excerpt from the watershed 1985 Supreme Court of Canada ruling of K.S. Bhinder and the Canadian Human Rights Commission v. The Canadian National Railway Company:
While the idea of making a Sikh man remove his turban makes me uncomfortable, I ain't letting anyone go down into a coal mine or a pulp & paper mill without a hard hat on. It's a case where my desire for human safety outweighs my desire to uphold religious traditions. I guess the same could go for my thoughts on how abortion laws are proceeding in South Dakota. At the least, there should be a point where human safety outweighs religious traditions. But there's a whole lotta difference between a turban and an abortion. And even then, when you argue with a Sikh man over whether he can wear his turban or not, at least you are arguing within the context of his religion. The decision made affects will affect other Sikhs. When the religious right argues about outlawing abortions, maybe they should argue that point on the behalf of Christians. They shouldn't foist religious beliefs on non-Christians as well, it strikes me as unethical. Plus, it just doesn't make sense.
Back to the issue of Sikh headgear, one thing I found interesting from the case is that the article states that Mr. Bhinder "was forbidden by his religion to wear anything on his head except a turban". But I used to know this Sikh guy back in undergrad and while his head was always covered, some days he would come to class with a touque instead of a turban. My reaction to this move was something like, "Heh, nice shortcut!" because stressed, sleep deprived students are all about making life easier by whatever means possible. I mean, according to my religion (or is that my caste?) on certain religious holidays I shouldn't eat onions or eggs. Lord knows what religious holiday that rule comes from! I have no flipping idea. But I bet Hindus living in India do. I guess when you're not immersed in the culture of your religion, it's easier to live life with loose rules.
Okay, now I'm just rambling like a crazy rambling thing. Ending post... now.
When I first started my undergrad, I often wished that there was an elective history course that explained how Europeans became the most influential group of people in the course of human civilization's progress. I recently got a decent answer sort of answer after reading Guns, Germs and Steel. Now I find myself wishing for a short course on the consistent development of patriarchy throughout all of earth's cultures. It's good that we discuss the current problems in today's society, but I am a curious person and always want to know why?
I'm currently reading an article on protective head-wear and turbans at work. It's interesting how it ties in with the Sikh issues in France that I was talking about yesterday. Here's an excerpt from the watershed 1985 Supreme Court of Canada ruling of K.S. Bhinder and the Canadian Human Rights Commission v. The Canadian National Railway Company:
"The Supreme Court of Canada ruled that where a bona fide occupational requirement can be proven to exist, an employer does not have a duty to accommodate the worker and the worker must meet the requirements in order to hold employment. Discrimiation, as defined in human rights legislation, did not apply in this circumstance but the employer had to be prepared to justify the requirement."
While the idea of making a Sikh man remove his turban makes me uncomfortable, I ain't letting anyone go down into a coal mine or a pulp & paper mill without a hard hat on. It's a case where my desire for human safety outweighs my desire to uphold religious traditions. I guess the same could go for my thoughts on how abortion laws are proceeding in South Dakota. At the least, there should be a point where human safety outweighs religious traditions. But there's a whole lotta difference between a turban and an abortion. And even then, when you argue with a Sikh man over whether he can wear his turban or not, at least you are arguing within the context of his religion. The decision made affects will affect other Sikhs. When the religious right argues about outlawing abortions, maybe they should argue that point on the behalf of Christians. They shouldn't foist religious beliefs on non-Christians as well, it strikes me as unethical. Plus, it just doesn't make sense.
Back to the issue of Sikh headgear, one thing I found interesting from the case is that the article states that Mr. Bhinder "was forbidden by his religion to wear anything on his head except a turban". But I used to know this Sikh guy back in undergrad and while his head was always covered, some days he would come to class with a touque instead of a turban. My reaction to this move was something like, "Heh, nice shortcut!" because stressed, sleep deprived students are all about making life easier by whatever means possible. I mean, according to my religion (or is that my caste?) on certain religious holidays I shouldn't eat onions or eggs. Lord knows what religious holiday that rule comes from! I have no flipping idea. But I bet Hindus living in India do. I guess when you're not immersed in the culture of your religion, it's easier to live life with loose rules.
Okay, now I'm just rambling like a crazy rambling thing. Ending post... now.
Mar 6, 2006
More Incoherant Musings
There's been something on my mind that's been bothering me. It's actually been bothering me for a couple years now. I don't know if other women can relate to me, but I need to say it even if I'm alone on this.
I hate being afraid of strange men.
I hate it with every fiber of my being. I shouldn't have to fear a statistical half the population, minus my male friends and family. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to men I have never met or spoken to. I shouldn't have to walk into a subway car and automatically ready myself for fight or flight when I see a man sitting a few seats across from me. I shouldn't have to shell out extra cash for a cab ride home when my class ends later than usual and campus is full of unfamiliar night course students.
But I am afraid. I live in a state of constant vigilance, as society teaches its women to be. The problem is two-fold. Firstly, most sexual assaults and rapes are committed by men that were familiar to their victims. Boyfriends, uncles, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. Yet this is not the threat that women are warned against. It's the mysterious stranger, the unknown pervert in the night that we must protect our virtue from, a creature so base and alien that most everyone will reject him from the human species. He is effectively cast as some shadowy threat of mythical proportions.
But the truth hits closer to home. By emphasizing the threat of the unknowable rapist, who is considered unfit for comparison with the rest of the human race, we forget that men who act as friends and family are the major culprits. Women aren't warned about this threat to the same degree. It's a classic "Us Versus Them" problem. "They" rape women in the night, while you're walking to your car. Be careful of "Them". "They're" bad people. But "We" will protect you from those bad men.
... And as soon as "We" rape one of you? Well, just keep your mouth shut. You know you wanted it. "We're" probably the best you could do anyway. It's not that bad.
Think about it? If a man attacks you in the street, you can file a report no problem (whether anything is done about it IS a problem, however). But if the charming fella you've been dating for a few months now suddenly comes on too strong and won't take 'NO' for an answer, what do you do? What if your husband won't take 'NO' for an answer? What do you do?
I hope you report it, show that you won't stand for it. But society only tell us that we should be afraid of strange men, not the friends and family who are supposed to protect and look out for us. So who knows what The System will make of you reporting this kind of violation of your rights as a human being.
So that's my randomness for the night. I don't expect much of it to make any sense. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the far-reaching tentacles of the patriarchy. To end off some food for thought. S.D. Legislation to Ban Most Abortions; I'm not even going to touch this can of worms because many others have already said what I want to say, and much more eloquently as well. As well, France Says Sikhs Must Remove Turbans; I'm not even Sikh and the idea of forcing Sikhs to remove their turbans makes me very uncomfortable and appalled. And to think, here in Canada we're letting Sikh children bring their kirpans to school! France, you disappoint me.
I hate being afraid of strange men.
I hate it with every fiber of my being. I shouldn't have to fear a statistical half the population, minus my male friends and family. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to men I have never met or spoken to. I shouldn't have to walk into a subway car and automatically ready myself for fight or flight when I see a man sitting a few seats across from me. I shouldn't have to shell out extra cash for a cab ride home when my class ends later than usual and campus is full of unfamiliar night course students.
But I am afraid. I live in a state of constant vigilance, as society teaches its women to be. The problem is two-fold. Firstly, most sexual assaults and rapes are committed by men that were familiar to their victims. Boyfriends, uncles, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. Yet this is not the threat that women are warned against. It's the mysterious stranger, the unknown pervert in the night that we must protect our virtue from, a creature so base and alien that most everyone will reject him from the human species. He is effectively cast as some shadowy threat of mythical proportions.
But the truth hits closer to home. By emphasizing the threat of the unknowable rapist, who is considered unfit for comparison with the rest of the human race, we forget that men who act as friends and family are the major culprits. Women aren't warned about this threat to the same degree. It's a classic "Us Versus Them" problem. "They" rape women in the night, while you're walking to your car. Be careful of "Them". "They're" bad people. But "We" will protect you from those bad men.
... And as soon as "We" rape one of you? Well, just keep your mouth shut. You know you wanted it. "We're" probably the best you could do anyway. It's not that bad.
Think about it? If a man attacks you in the street, you can file a report no problem (whether anything is done about it IS a problem, however). But if the charming fella you've been dating for a few months now suddenly comes on too strong and won't take 'NO' for an answer, what do you do? What if your husband won't take 'NO' for an answer? What do you do?
I hope you report it, show that you won't stand for it. But society only tell us that we should be afraid of strange men, not the friends and family who are supposed to protect and look out for us. So who knows what The System will make of you reporting this kind of violation of your rights as a human being.
So that's my randomness for the night. I don't expect much of it to make any sense. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the far-reaching tentacles of the patriarchy. To end off some food for thought. S.D. Legislation to Ban Most Abortions; I'm not even going to touch this can of worms because many others have already said what I want to say, and much more eloquently as well. As well, France Says Sikhs Must Remove Turbans; I'm not even Sikh and the idea of forcing Sikhs to remove their turbans makes me very uncomfortable and appalled. And to think, here in Canada we're letting Sikh children bring their kirpans to school! France, you disappoint me.
Mar 3, 2006
Past Crashes With Religion
There are so many things about me that I feel compelled to categorize and analyze. Being a feminist, being pro-choice, being an NRI, being an introvert. Sometimes I find myself increasingly confused when trying to reconcile being liberal and embracing Indian traditions. Western and eastern values don't usually match up very well.
Even though I'm Hindu, I went to a Catholic high school back in the day. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal; I knew my heart was with my own religion and I could easily fake my way or detach myself in matters of religion when necessary. I actually did pretty well in my religion classes, always As, much to the amusement of my classmates. All I had to do was memorize the information the teachers gave the class about sacraments and history and I was good as gold.
But there were times when it was hard. My biggest challenge was hearing the morning prayer every day after the national anthem. In the beginning it was easy to not take it seriously, to just stay standing with the rest of the class and hear the chaplain speak over the PA system about The Lord. Eventually, it started getting to me. So much that I developed a sort of reflex aversion to certain aspects of Catholicism. My relfex aversion was probably due to a culmination of events, the sum of the numerous times Christianity has worked at making me uncomfortable. I'll get to that later. But anyway. There was something too... penitent about those morning prayers. Penitent and reserved at the same time. And it was very (pardon by bluntness) "white". Every time I watch a black congregation or a black preacher, I feel a guilty kind of pity. Pity that somewhere in the far distant past, missionaries or dire circumstances required that these people had to convert to Christianity. I feel the same way about Christian Indians as well. "Man, sucks that those Portugese missionaries converted your poor and undereducated ancestors all those years ago." But if their religion brings them so much happiness, why should I feel pity? Why should I feel like Christianity is a cruel punishment inflicted on those who knew no better?
What's the point of all this rambling? The point is that I am constantly struggling to see the good in Christianity. My religion teaches that all religions are equal and valid paths to god, and that all religious traditions should be respected. But it's hard to respect a religion that has hurt me personally in the past. I remember when I was 7 years old an older girl (maybe 9 or 10) asked me what church I went to. I told her I didn't go to church, because I wasn't Christian. I went to a temple instead. I was Hindu, like my parents who had come from India. She screwed her face at me disdainfully. "No. You're Christian. You have to be. Everyone who moves to this country has to become Christian." Well, I knew that wasn't true, of course. But I just bit my tongue and wondered why she would think something so crazy.
When I was doing my undergrad I lived with a religiously diverse group of people: two Hindus, one Catholic, one Christian, and one Jewish girl. Even before we started living together, and while we did, religious discussions would pop up every now and then. There are two specific memories that stand out in my mind. The first was how the other Hindu girl in our house tagged along with some friends to a Catholic mass, to "see what all the fuss was about". The other memory is the Catholic girl explaining how after revealing she's a practicing Catholic to acquaintances, she would often be accused of Bible-thumping, ignorance, close-mindedness, religious asshattery, and the like. It bothered her that people would automatically stereotype her as a "Christian fanatic" before getting to know her.
I know I've seen the beauty of Christianity and real Christians. My born again Christian former housemate is one of the most wonderful people I've ever met in my life. We all agreed that she was the rock of our house, the calm and stable one who took life in stride and lived well. I may not agree with her beliefs, but I truly respect her as a person. Maybe that's all it will take to change how I think.
Even though I'm Hindu, I went to a Catholic high school back in the day. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal; I knew my heart was with my own religion and I could easily fake my way or detach myself in matters of religion when necessary. I actually did pretty well in my religion classes, always As, much to the amusement of my classmates. All I had to do was memorize the information the teachers gave the class about sacraments and history and I was good as gold.
But there were times when it was hard. My biggest challenge was hearing the morning prayer every day after the national anthem. In the beginning it was easy to not take it seriously, to just stay standing with the rest of the class and hear the chaplain speak over the PA system about The Lord. Eventually, it started getting to me. So much that I developed a sort of reflex aversion to certain aspects of Catholicism. My relfex aversion was probably due to a culmination of events, the sum of the numerous times Christianity has worked at making me uncomfortable. I'll get to that later. But anyway. There was something too... penitent about those morning prayers. Penitent and reserved at the same time. And it was very (pardon by bluntness) "white". Every time I watch a black congregation or a black preacher, I feel a guilty kind of pity. Pity that somewhere in the far distant past, missionaries or dire circumstances required that these people had to convert to Christianity. I feel the same way about Christian Indians as well. "Man, sucks that those Portugese missionaries converted your poor and undereducated ancestors all those years ago." But if their religion brings them so much happiness, why should I feel pity? Why should I feel like Christianity is a cruel punishment inflicted on those who knew no better?
What's the point of all this rambling? The point is that I am constantly struggling to see the good in Christianity. My religion teaches that all religions are equal and valid paths to god, and that all religious traditions should be respected. But it's hard to respect a religion that has hurt me personally in the past. I remember when I was 7 years old an older girl (maybe 9 or 10) asked me what church I went to. I told her I didn't go to church, because I wasn't Christian. I went to a temple instead. I was Hindu, like my parents who had come from India. She screwed her face at me disdainfully. "No. You're Christian. You have to be. Everyone who moves to this country has to become Christian." Well, I knew that wasn't true, of course. But I just bit my tongue and wondered why she would think something so crazy.
When I was doing my undergrad I lived with a religiously diverse group of people: two Hindus, one Catholic, one Christian, and one Jewish girl. Even before we started living together, and while we did, religious discussions would pop up every now and then. There are two specific memories that stand out in my mind. The first was how the other Hindu girl in our house tagged along with some friends to a Catholic mass, to "see what all the fuss was about". The other memory is the Catholic girl explaining how after revealing she's a practicing Catholic to acquaintances, she would often be accused of Bible-thumping, ignorance, close-mindedness, religious asshattery, and the like. It bothered her that people would automatically stereotype her as a "Christian fanatic" before getting to know her.
I know I've seen the beauty of Christianity and real Christians. My born again Christian former housemate is one of the most wonderful people I've ever met in my life. We all agreed that she was the rock of our house, the calm and stable one who took life in stride and lived well. I may not agree with her beliefs, but I truly respect her as a person. Maybe that's all it will take to change how I think.
A Motion Towards Change
I am thinking of changing the focus of this blog from my general life affairs to concentrating on issues that are personal to my own life, such as women's rights and issues faced by young NRIs. Of course, there's always the danger that discussion what I experience while on the job could work against me... I'm unsure right now. I think I might give it a shot.
Mar 1, 2006
I'm On A Feminist Rampage
I was just pointed in the direction of this blog called Bark/Bite, written by a male liberal feminist... he's pretty damn awesome. And this post just made my day: Differences Between Sexes. It just rocks my world.
I have more! There's Amanda's blog Pandagon and Twisty's I Blame The Patriarchy for your enjoyment. Amanda's blog is quite popular on Ye Olde Intrawebe. Twisty's posts are especially full of that tasty tasty scathing sarcasm we all know and love.
Think critically and enjoy :)
In other news, there is a red welt on my hand, on the skinweb that connects my thumb to my index finger. Yesterday there was a small bump there, no colour or anything. I have no idea where this bright red welt came from. It doesn't itch or anything. And to be honest, the angry red has faded since this morning to a fainter colour. I'm minorly concerned and vaguely puzzled about the thing. I suppose this too shall pass.
I have more! There's Amanda's blog Pandagon and Twisty's I Blame The Patriarchy for your enjoyment. Amanda's blog is quite popular on Ye Olde Intrawebe. Twisty's posts are especially full of that tasty tasty scathing sarcasm we all know and love.
Think critically and enjoy :)
In other news, there is a red welt on my hand, on the skinweb that connects my thumb to my index finger. Yesterday there was a small bump there, no colour or anything. I have no idea where this bright red welt came from. It doesn't itch or anything. And to be honest, the angry red has faded since this morning to a fainter colour. I'm minorly concerned and vaguely puzzled about the thing. I suppose this too shall pass.
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