More Incoherant Musings

There's been something on my mind that's been bothering me. It's actually been bothering me for a couple years now. I don't know if other women can relate to me, but I need to say it even if I'm alone on this.

I hate being afraid of strange men.

I hate it with every fiber of my being. I shouldn't have to fear a statistical half the population, minus my male friends and family. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to men I have never met or spoken to. I shouldn't have to walk into a subway car and automatically ready myself for fight or flight when I see a man sitting a few seats across from me. I shouldn't have to shell out extra cash for a cab ride home when my class ends later than usual and campus is full of unfamiliar night course students.

But I am afraid. I live in a state of constant vigilance, as society teaches its women to be. The problem is two-fold. Firstly, most sexual assaults and rapes are committed by men that were familiar to their victims. Boyfriends, uncles, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. Yet this is not the threat that women are warned against. It's the mysterious stranger, the unknown pervert in the night that we must protect our virtue from, a creature so base and alien that most everyone will reject him from the human species. He is effectively cast as some shadowy threat of mythical proportions.

But the truth hits closer to home. By emphasizing the threat of the unknowable rapist, who is considered unfit for comparison with the rest of the human race, we forget that men who act as friends and family are the major culprits. Women aren't warned about this threat to the same degree. It's a classic "Us Versus Them" problem. "They" rape women in the night, while you're walking to your car. Be careful of "Them". "They're" bad people. But "We" will protect you from those bad men.

... And as soon as "We" rape one of you? Well, just keep your mouth shut. You know you wanted it. "We're" probably the best you could do anyway. It's not that bad.

Think about it? If a man attacks you in the street, you can file a report no problem (whether anything is done about it IS a problem, however). But if the charming fella you've been dating for a few months now suddenly comes on too strong and won't take 'NO' for an answer, what do you do? What if your husband won't take 'NO' for an answer? What do you do?

I hope you report it, show that you won't stand for it. But society only tell us that we should be afraid of strange men, not the friends and family who are supposed to protect and look out for us. So who knows what The System will make of you reporting this kind of violation of your rights as a human being.

So that's my randomness for the night. I don't expect much of it to make any sense. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the far-reaching tentacles of the patriarchy. To end off some food for thought. S.D. Legislation to Ban Most Abortions; I'm not even going to touch this can of worms because many others have already said what I want to say, and much more eloquently as well. As well, France Says Sikhs Must Remove Turbans; I'm not even Sikh and the idea of forcing Sikhs to remove their turbans makes me very uncomfortable and appalled. And to think, here in Canada we're letting Sikh children bring their kirpans to school! France, you disappoint me.