For as long as I can remember, I have always eaten corn on the cob one way and one way only: row by row. By which I mean horizontally. I have a very specific system.
- To start, I pick a spot in the middle of the cob and take a bite that encompasses 4 rows of kernels, no more and no less.
- Following the first bite, I eat the rest of the rows to the right of the initial bite, then the rows to the left of the initial bite.
- Then I rotate the cob clockwise and take another bite from the middle (again 4 rows wide) and repeat step 2.
- I repeat step 3 two more times and always just two more times because for some reason, all corn is made equal. By which I mean there is always 4 × 4 rows of corn kernels in a cob. My method for eating corn is mathematically sound.
So there you have it, my efficient and logical methodology for eating corn on the cob. You should all use it and if you’re not, rethink your corn eating lifestyle.
(I also probably eat corn the way I do partially because of a Bugs Bunny cartoon I saw as a very young child, where he ate his corn like he was a typewriter. Television, y’all. Just as influential as you imagined.)
1 comment:
I do the same but start at the left end & go like a typewriter. Perfect system.
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