Ever notice that something weird happens to us ladies when we get our nails done, all glossy paint and perfectly shaped? We pay good money for this shit, and so we make sure not to ruin our indulgence. The result? Daintily picking things up, avoiding scraping our fingers, gently gently we go about our business, never letting our hands exert too much force.
Women are not instrinsically fucking dainty. It's a product of what we are expected to be, what we are expected to do. Don't run, little girl, you might scuff your pretty new shoes and dirty your pretty new skirt. Always about our appearance, how we are presented to the world. And it affects us, affects our behaviours, until we cannot tell the difference between cause and effect.
*stares at freshly painted nails* It's a good thing I work in a food manufacturing plant; I'll have to remove this stuff tomorrow night as per the rules. I suddenly don't like the way it affects me. I never realized how much it did.
Jun 1, 2007
Trying To Find Someone Like Me
While flitting about the web, I came across the People of Colour SF Carnival and it got me a'thinking. Thinking about what? About my people in the media, that's what. It's no secret that I am an avid TV watcher, and can I just say that it's always disappointed me that so few desi people are on mainstream North American television? (I'm not going to speak on British TV, because I do get the impression that there is more desi representation there, but I wouldn't really know.)
Let's put that all aside for a moment. I've been cruising the blogosphere for a certain kind of blog lately. I'm talking about a feminist blog written by someone who is female and desi and living in a westernized country. On the other hand, it's so fascinating to read blogs by people who live in India, because even though it's my culture and my roots, I'm really quite disengaged from that particular society. But yeah, looking for a certain kind of blog. One with a feminist, minority slant, but still deals with issues pertaining to all kinds of Canadian/America/Australian/British/etc. issues.
When I go to India in two weeks, things are gonna be so very exciting. All week on The Discovery Channel they've been showing this "TDC Goes To India" segment every night, and it's good to know that the Taj Mahal isn't under construction or maintenance or anything. ;)
Let's put that all aside for a moment. I've been cruising the blogosphere for a certain kind of blog lately. I'm talking about a feminist blog written by someone who is female and desi and living in a westernized country. On the other hand, it's so fascinating to read blogs by people who live in India, because even though it's my culture and my roots, I'm really quite disengaged from that particular society. But yeah, looking for a certain kind of blog. One with a feminist, minority slant, but still deals with issues pertaining to all kinds of Canadian/America/Australian/British/etc. issues.
When I go to India in two weeks, things are gonna be so very exciting. All week on The Discovery Channel they've been showing this "TDC Goes To India" segment every night, and it's good to know that the Taj Mahal isn't under construction or maintenance or anything. ;)
May 31, 2007
And The Sunshine Is So Delightful
From Grist.com, my cool link of the moment: How to Talk to a Climate Skeptic, which is a complete listing of the articles in "How to Talk to a Climate Skeptic," a series by Coby Beck containing responses to the most common skeptical arguments on global warming.
Speaking of climate, the weather up here is finally hitting its stride and treating us with luxuriously warm afternoons. I couldn't be happier! Well, obviously I'd be happier with a billion dollars and Jesse Spencer as my personal slave. Or if impending thunderstorms weren't in the weather forecast. I just make the best of what comes along. :)
No, wait. I take it all back; this is my cool link of the moment: Quantum immortality, which is a controversial metaphysical speculation that states that the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that conscious beings are immortal. Awesome.
Speaking of climate, the weather up here is finally hitting its stride and treating us with luxuriously warm afternoons. I couldn't be happier! Well, obviously I'd be happier with a billion dollars and Jesse Spencer as my personal slave. Or if impending thunderstorms weren't in the weather forecast. I just make the best of what comes along. :)
No, wait. I take it all back; this is my cool link of the moment: Quantum immortality, which is a controversial metaphysical speculation that states that the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that conscious beings are immortal. Awesome.
May 25, 2007
Urge To Castrate... Rising
Oh my fucking god, I'm seeing red right now. Twisty at IBTP has posted about a horrific gang rape case. Details of what exactly happened (because FUCKING FUCK THIS 'ALLEGED' AND 'INSUFFICIENT EVIDENCE' BULLSHIT) can be found here.
THIS is why I'm a feminist. The fact that shit like this happens, an underaged girl is raped while drunk and vomiting and the case gets thrown out, she gets blamed for the rape, the men are congratulated for pulling through such a difficult time in their lives. I mean... FUCK. What sort of sick fucks think that raping a semi-comatose girl is ANY shade of moral white?!
*walks off frothing*
THIS is why I'm a feminist. The fact that shit like this happens, an underaged girl is raped while drunk and vomiting and the case gets thrown out, she gets blamed for the rape, the men are congratulated for pulling through such a difficult time in their lives. I mean... FUCK. What sort of sick fucks think that raping a semi-comatose girl is ANY shade of moral white?!
*walks off frothing*
May 16, 2007
Everything You Need In Once Place
I had some interesting conversations this weekend with dear friends of mine. These friends, being the educated and intellectual women that they are, gave me a lot to think about.
On Friday night, the conversation veered towards our favourite TV show and the issues that we had with the dynamic between the main female and male characters. (The show is Bones, FWIW.) It became apparent that I enjoyed Booth's character much more than my friend, as I am willing to overlook/ignore his more patronizing, immature, and assholish tendencies due to the fact that he is so very hot. There are so many things about the character that I would not be able to stand in real life, or even another TV show. But for some reason, I let my logic and critical thinking float away when I watch the show. Makes one wonder where to draw the line between escapism and practicing what you preach. I don't think there's anything wrong with indulging in the corny tripe that FOX airs every Wednesday night, as long as I am fully aware that it's just that. (Still, god I love that show!)
On Saturday night we somehow ended up talking about how we would raise our kids, and I find myself in a bit of a conundrum over that. My friend has a sister who got into a massively dysfunctional relationship at a young-ish age, and she was saying that for that reason she wouldn't let her kids date at all until they were 18, until they were a little more emotionally mature and had the self-confidence to make the right decisions. I've wondered where I stand on the issue myself for some time, what restrictions I'd place on my children. I used to think I'd let them date at 16, and all the while never warn them against dating. Now I'm liking her way of thinking.
Huzzah for the 37th Carnival of Feminists! Check out all the goodies, people. :)
This post made me think. Oh yes it did. MY GOD, if men are always complaining that they have no control over themselves when they see an attractive, scantily clad woman walk by, hence leading to things such as assault and rape, MAYBE THEY SHOULD START COVERING UP THEIR EYES instead of women covering up their bodies. It's not like WE'RE doing anything wrong, we're just wearing OUR FUCKING CLOTHES. MEN are the ones fucking things up. Jeebus. But seriously, that's some great satire, right there. And I quote...
Also, a shocking article about a Muslim woman in the UK who was attacked in the media for her choice of swimwear.
Finally, something I'd like to forward to my friends and family. A primer on women in advertising, if you may.
From here: I’ve never heard of a guy who got into a bar fight feeling ashamed of the fact that he was insulting to the other guy beforehand, or questioning whether that meant he had been giving the guy permission to beat him up. If an assault case goes to trial, whether the victim was being a jerk beforehand is essentially irrelevant, because the guy who did the hitting is the one who crossed the legality line. In the unlikely event that a sexual assault case actually gets to trial, questions will inevitably come up about all the ways in which the victim could have sent the message that she was willing to have sex by flirting or by consenting to other sexual activity.
Gwah, that felt... liberating.
On Friday night, the conversation veered towards our favourite TV show and the issues that we had with the dynamic between the main female and male characters. (The show is Bones, FWIW.) It became apparent that I enjoyed Booth's character much more than my friend, as I am willing to overlook/ignore his more patronizing, immature, and assholish tendencies due to the fact that he is so very hot. There are so many things about the character that I would not be able to stand in real life, or even another TV show. But for some reason, I let my logic and critical thinking float away when I watch the show. Makes one wonder where to draw the line between escapism and practicing what you preach. I don't think there's anything wrong with indulging in the corny tripe that FOX airs every Wednesday night, as long as I am fully aware that it's just that. (Still, god I love that show!)
On Saturday night we somehow ended up talking about how we would raise our kids, and I find myself in a bit of a conundrum over that. My friend has a sister who got into a massively dysfunctional relationship at a young-ish age, and she was saying that for that reason she wouldn't let her kids date at all until they were 18, until they were a little more emotionally mature and had the self-confidence to make the right decisions. I've wondered where I stand on the issue myself for some time, what restrictions I'd place on my children. I used to think I'd let them date at 16, and all the while never warn them against dating. Now I'm liking her way of thinking.
Huzzah for the 37th Carnival of Feminists! Check out all the goodies, people. :)
This post made me think. Oh yes it did. MY GOD, if men are always complaining that they have no control over themselves when they see an attractive, scantily clad woman walk by, hence leading to things such as assault and rape, MAYBE THEY SHOULD START COVERING UP THEIR EYES instead of women covering up their bodies. It's not like WE'RE doing anything wrong, we're just wearing OUR FUCKING CLOTHES. MEN are the ones fucking things up. Jeebus. But seriously, that's some great satire, right there. And I quote...
Second, how do you know these women aren't lying in wait, plotting to falsely accuse you of rape? If you'd all behave more responsibly, act modestly, and stay home, you wouldn't have to worry about these things. You also wouldn't have to worry about getting arrested, or hearing women complain about your very justifiable behavior. I mean, you said it yourselves--you cannot be trusted.
Also, a shocking article about a Muslim woman in the UK who was attacked in the media for her choice of swimwear.
Finally, something I'd like to forward to my friends and family. A primer on women in advertising, if you may.
From here: I’ve never heard of a guy who got into a bar fight feeling ashamed of the fact that he was insulting to the other guy beforehand, or questioning whether that meant he had been giving the guy permission to beat him up. If an assault case goes to trial, whether the victim was being a jerk beforehand is essentially irrelevant, because the guy who did the hitting is the one who crossed the legality line. In the unlikely event that a sexual assault case actually gets to trial, questions will inevitably come up about all the ways in which the victim could have sent the message that she was willing to have sex by flirting or by consenting to other sexual activity.
Gwah, that felt... liberating.
May 7, 2007
Topics For A Monday Morning
On the language of rape - Passive Aggression: Foregrounding the Object I completely agree, FWIW. Bringing up the fact that a man is the hidden subject in the event of rape is a very good idea.
And on the same topic (and including a really wack PSA from the US Ad Council) - Women are to blame for everything, including and especially male abuse towards them That PSA is made of so much lose.
And on the topic of bad commercials, Kyso K in the above post says - The only thing that drives me more insane on the radio is that dog food commercial that suggests you should buy your dog expensive food so that it will love you, and then when it is gazing upon you adoringly you can project onto it all of the validation you wish you’d been getting from your ungrateful family. I admit it... I LOLed.
And from the "LOL AMERICANS" file - Canadian 'spy' coin mystery solved I... just... *headdesk*
And on the same topic (and including a really wack PSA from the US Ad Council) - Women are to blame for everything, including and especially male abuse towards them That PSA is made of so much lose.
And on the topic of bad commercials, Kyso K in the above post says - The only thing that drives me more insane on the radio is that dog food commercial that suggests you should buy your dog expensive food so that it will love you, and then when it is gazing upon you adoringly you can project onto it all of the validation you wish you’d been getting from your ungrateful family. I admit it... I LOLed.
And from the "LOL AMERICANS" file - Canadian 'spy' coin mystery solved I... just... *headdesk*
May 4, 2007
Excuse Me While I Order Take-Out Instead
Okay, this just makes me feel... ARGH!
Fashionable in the Kitchen: Add a little style to your kitchen with a hip and chic apron.
That's right, let's push women to worry about if they're attaining a proper level of stylishness while they are busy cracking eggs and marinating pork chops. GOD. As if we don't get this bullshit from enough places, now the fashion industry reminds us that we are still objects to be ogled at while we slave over a hot stove. I might have been more lenient if there were stylish aprons for men as well, but not that much more lenient.
*sighs* It's a never-ending battle, I tell ya.
Fashionable in the Kitchen: Add a little style to your kitchen with a hip and chic apron.
That's right, let's push women to worry about if they're attaining a proper level of stylishness while they are busy cracking eggs and marinating pork chops. GOD. As if we don't get this bullshit from enough places, now the fashion industry reminds us that we are still objects to be ogled at while we slave over a hot stove. I might have been more lenient if there were stylish aprons for men as well, but not that much more lenient.
*sighs* It's a never-ending battle, I tell ya.
May 3, 2007
Faith In Humanity... Falling
White House opposes hate crime bill
"WASHINGTON - The White House issued a veto threat Thursday against legislation that would expand federal hate crime law to include attacks motivated by the victims' gender or sexual orientation.
The hate crimes bill, with strong Democratic backing, is expected to pass the House Thursday. Similar legislation is moving through the Senate.
But the legislation, which also would increase the penalties for bias-based violence, has met outspoken resistance from conservative groups and their Republican allies in Congress, who warn that it undermines freedom of speech, religious expression and equal protection under the law."
"Hate crimes under current federal law apply to acts of violence against individuals on the basis of race, religion, color, or national original. Federal prosecutors have jurisdiction only if the victim is engaged in a specific federally protected activity such as enrolling in school, voting or traveling between states.
The House bill would extend the hate crimes category to include sexual orientation, gender, gender identity or disability."
What the heck is wrong with the fricking White House?! *headdesk*
"WASHINGTON - The White House issued a veto threat Thursday against legislation that would expand federal hate crime law to include attacks motivated by the victims' gender or sexual orientation.
The hate crimes bill, with strong Democratic backing, is expected to pass the House Thursday. Similar legislation is moving through the Senate.
But the legislation, which also would increase the penalties for bias-based violence, has met outspoken resistance from conservative groups and their Republican allies in Congress, who warn that it undermines freedom of speech, religious expression and equal protection under the law."
"Hate crimes under current federal law apply to acts of violence against individuals on the basis of race, religion, color, or national original. Federal prosecutors have jurisdiction only if the victim is engaged in a specific federally protected activity such as enrolling in school, voting or traveling between states.
The House bill would extend the hate crimes category to include sexual orientation, gender, gender identity or disability."
What the heck is wrong with the fricking White House?! *headdesk*
Apr 28, 2007
Ain't Nobody Who Can Hold Us Down
I have an excess of feminist links to share today. So without further adieu...
1. Heartless Bitches International
- They've got some great rants in the "Deal With It!" Rants and the Nice Guys = Bleah sections.
2. Said It: Feminist News Culture & Politics
- Of interest are the articles Bad Girls, Nice Guys...and then there's reality and Men and the History of Rape.
3. Feminists Don't Bake Bread
- The title is tongue in cheek, obviously. Just a lovely little blog; I especially liked the posts A Woman Walks Into A Bar... and Sisterhood & Solidarity.
Enjoy!
1. Heartless Bitches International
- They've got some great rants in the "Deal With It!" Rants and the Nice Guys = Bleah sections.
2. Said It: Feminist News Culture & Politics
- Of interest are the articles Bad Girls, Nice Guys...and then there's reality and Men and the History of Rape.
3. Feminists Don't Bake Bread
- The title is tongue in cheek, obviously. Just a lovely little blog; I especially liked the posts A Woman Walks Into A Bar... and Sisterhood & Solidarity.
Enjoy!
Mar 27, 2007
I'm Too Moderate And Chill?
While at work I was browsing through some blogs, and in particular I Blame The Patriarchy. There was one comment there that really stuck out to me.
Seriously... wut? I consider myself a feminist but even this is a little too much for me. I confess that in my youth I was honestly curious if men could feel love the same way women do, but I recognize the fact that men are not evil, heartless creatures ferchristsake. The longer we keep up this "us versus them" mentality, the longer problems will exist. Gender equality means exactly that: equality.
In order to feel feminized and human one would have to acknowledge women as humans, an utterly insurmountable roadblock.
The thing that stops me every time about that is that how the hell can they [men] believe so strongly that women are worthless nothings and then mouth nonsense about “when a man loves a woman” and all that love-song rot? I’m sorry — what the fuck does “love” even mean when it comes out of their mouths? I don’t think they’re capable of it, really. At least, not toward us. Love means respect, the desire to emulate, admiration, the desire to see someone succeed, the desire to support them because their goals are valued... none of which has to do with what they feel for us, all of which are feelings they reserve for other men. What the hell does “I love you” even mean when one of them says it to a woman? “Wash my socks?” “Gimme your pussy?” “I feel abandoned by my mommy?” What?
If they are so fucking disgusted by us, what the hell is up with them wanting us around all the damned time? Why do they even HAVE rejection fears? Why do they go postal when they get divorced and start shooting up the local McDonalds? If we’re so hideous and revolting that merely being compared to one of us is enough to send them around the bend, then why do they even bother pretending to “love” us?
I really don’t think they’re capable of it. I don’t think they know what the word means. And don’t go all not-my-Nigel on me either, okay? Let’s face it, if a man is even vaguely capable of “loving” anything without a penis beyond wanting to screw it, it’s going to be after a shitload of introspection and truthful self-examination that um NONE of them have ever done, sorry.
Seriously... wut? I consider myself a feminist but even this is a little too much for me. I confess that in my youth I was honestly curious if men could feel love the same way women do, but I recognize the fact that men are not evil, heartless creatures ferchristsake. The longer we keep up this "us versus them" mentality, the longer problems will exist. Gender equality means exactly that: equality.
Mar 8, 2007
Random Thoughts Of Randomness
Today is International Women's Day and also Blog For Sexism Day. So I thought I'd share some random thoughts of mine.
I recently had the opportunity to see the video for Ciara's new song 'Like A Boy', wherein she tries to tangle with some gender stereotypes by wearing thugged out baggy clothes, tattoos all over, and illustrating the sometimes stark differences between what (black) men and women are supposed to dress and act like, at least in music videos. I think I need to see it one more time, and maybe read the lyrics. I think the tone of the song is along the lines of: "Sometimes I just want to treat you the way guys typically treat girls, and then YOU can see if YOU like how it feels."
A friend of mine who's a big fan of Louisa May Alcott shared one of the woman's quotes with me, one that made me think:
I'm reminded again of a conversation I had with friends at work, that young people our age (mid-twenties) aren't in a rush to get married because men and women not co-dependent on each other like they used to be. Men can cook, stitch, raise children on their own. Women can make good money, fix their plumbing, and raise children on their own. There's no personal incentive to get married. The companionship and sex, you can get that from a regular long-term relationship. However, the social incentive (or should I say pressure?) to get married still remains.
I'm reading this book about the evolution of human behaviour as we know it. The current chapter specifically deals with the evolution of human sexuality, and something I found really interesting is that humans are the only animals on the entire planet who have sex in private. Every other animal (especially mammals) have sex in public. Fascinating! Really!
Here's to hoping that the future gets better, even though I am mostly a pessimist. But I can't help but see the change that may soon be coming when I work in a field that was dominated by white men and is now filling with multicultural women. There's hope yet. :)
I recently had the opportunity to see the video for Ciara's new song 'Like A Boy', wherein she tries to tangle with some gender stereotypes by wearing thugged out baggy clothes, tattoos all over, and illustrating the sometimes stark differences between what (black) men and women are supposed to dress and act like, at least in music videos. I think I need to see it one more time, and maybe read the lyrics. I think the tone of the song is along the lines of: "Sometimes I just want to treat you the way guys typically treat girls, and then YOU can see if YOU like how it feels."
A friend of mine who's a big fan of Louisa May Alcott shared one of the woman's quotes with me, one that made me think:
"I put in my list all the busy, useful independent spinsters I know, for liberty is a better husband than love to many of us."
I'm reminded again of a conversation I had with friends at work, that young people our age (mid-twenties) aren't in a rush to get married because men and women not co-dependent on each other like they used to be. Men can cook, stitch, raise children on their own. Women can make good money, fix their plumbing, and raise children on their own. There's no personal incentive to get married. The companionship and sex, you can get that from a regular long-term relationship. However, the social incentive (or should I say pressure?) to get married still remains.
I'm reading this book about the evolution of human behaviour as we know it. The current chapter specifically deals with the evolution of human sexuality, and something I found really interesting is that humans are the only animals on the entire planet who have sex in private. Every other animal (especially mammals) have sex in public. Fascinating! Really!
Here's to hoping that the future gets better, even though I am mostly a pessimist. But I can't help but see the change that may soon be coming when I work in a field that was dominated by white men and is now filling with multicultural women. There's hope yet. :)
Feb 23, 2007
This Is A Snapshot In Time
I know, I haven't posted in a while. Honestly, I haven't had much to rant about. But I thought I'd toss an update by.
Work is going well. My two years as a management trainee is almost up, so I'm in the process of finding a permanent position within the company, interviews and all. There was a position available in Edmonton that I didn't take for obvious reasons, even though I thoroughly enjoyed the city. Hopefully, the position I'm applying for right now comes through, and I won't have to think about applications and interviews for a long time. :P
On the fun side of things, I've booked two weeks off to go to India this summer! Yay! I'm going with my family (who are staying for four weeks) and we will be visiting New Delhi and Bangalore. I can't wait; it's been years since we've gone. I've also found out that a couple friends from undergrad who are currently travelling across Asia will be in India at the same time as me, so the possibility of meeting up is there. :) Vacations aside, I've got tickets to the Snow Patrol concert on March 31, which I can't wait for. I did have tickets to the Nelly Furtado concert too, but it came to my attention that I have a business conference in Vancouver at the same time, so that kinda fell through.
Otherwise, things are okay. Even though the temperatures are cold, the days are getting longer, which is always a plus. I'm watching altogether too much television for my own good and buying much more clothing than I really need, but it's not like I have anything better to do with my time and money.
Watching - Like I said, too much TV: Heroes, House, Bones, Lost, Grey's Anatomy, and CSI. My Boys and Avatar (shut up) are on hiatus right now, but I'm still quite interested in them. I've kinda lost track of watching any anime (e.g. Last Exile, xxxHOLiC, The Wallflower), but that's why post-season voids are all about making up for the stuff you've placed on the backburner.
Reading - I just finished JPod by Douglas Coupland, as well as volume 8 of the xxxHOLiC manga. JPod was surprisingly great, especially with me being in the state of adulthood that I'm currently at, and xxxHOLiC continues to please me immensely. Currently, I'm in the process of reading a non-fiction novel called The Third Chimpanzee by Jared Diamond, which is really interesting thus far.
Wearing - Today I went with eyeshadow with a gold/brown theme, with gold earrings to match (sorta). No necklace as I was too rushed this morning, but I've got a royal blue v-neck cashmere/spandex sweater and black dress pants on. Casual Friday demanded the wearing of casual shoes, so I've got my black and baby blue striped sneakers on as well. Which is... not a good thing because I forgot about a meet & greet reception I am going to after work. Whoops. Oh well, casual it is. ;)
Eating - Being at the office makes the eating thing a little more restrictive. The chicken sitting in my fridge is inedible without a big honking glass of water to calm the spiciness down, so I played it safe and brought some Indian food for lunch instead. Fruit punch to drink, almonds and leftover shortbread cookies to snack on, and my day is complete. Coffee notwithstanding.
Intarwebs - Life just ain't fun without a specific collection of websites: Livejournal, Journalfen, YouTube, Pandora, LastFM, Writely (aka Google Docs), Vox, andThe Pit Of Voles Fanfiction.Net.
Work is going well. My two years as a management trainee is almost up, so I'm in the process of finding a permanent position within the company, interviews and all. There was a position available in Edmonton that I didn't take for obvious reasons, even though I thoroughly enjoyed the city. Hopefully, the position I'm applying for right now comes through, and I won't have to think about applications and interviews for a long time. :P
On the fun side of things, I've booked two weeks off to go to India this summer! Yay! I'm going with my family (who are staying for four weeks) and we will be visiting New Delhi and Bangalore. I can't wait; it's been years since we've gone. I've also found out that a couple friends from undergrad who are currently travelling across Asia will be in India at the same time as me, so the possibility of meeting up is there. :) Vacations aside, I've got tickets to the Snow Patrol concert on March 31, which I can't wait for. I did have tickets to the Nelly Furtado concert too, but it came to my attention that I have a business conference in Vancouver at the same time, so that kinda fell through.
Otherwise, things are okay. Even though the temperatures are cold, the days are getting longer, which is always a plus. I'm watching altogether too much television for my own good and buying much more clothing than I really need, but it's not like I have anything better to do with my time and money.
Watching - Like I said, too much TV: Heroes, House, Bones, Lost, Grey's Anatomy, and CSI. My Boys and Avatar (shut up) are on hiatus right now, but I'm still quite interested in them. I've kinda lost track of watching any anime (e.g. Last Exile, xxxHOLiC, The Wallflower), but that's why post-season voids are all about making up for the stuff you've placed on the backburner.
Reading - I just finished JPod by Douglas Coupland, as well as volume 8 of the xxxHOLiC manga. JPod was surprisingly great, especially with me being in the state of adulthood that I'm currently at, and xxxHOLiC continues to please me immensely. Currently, I'm in the process of reading a non-fiction novel called The Third Chimpanzee by Jared Diamond, which is really interesting thus far.
Wearing - Today I went with eyeshadow with a gold/brown theme, with gold earrings to match (sorta). No necklace as I was too rushed this morning, but I've got a royal blue v-neck cashmere/spandex sweater and black dress pants on. Casual Friday demanded the wearing of casual shoes, so I've got my black and baby blue striped sneakers on as well. Which is... not a good thing because I forgot about a meet & greet reception I am going to after work. Whoops. Oh well, casual it is. ;)
Eating - Being at the office makes the eating thing a little more restrictive. The chicken sitting in my fridge is inedible without a big honking glass of water to calm the spiciness down, so I played it safe and brought some Indian food for lunch instead. Fruit punch to drink, almonds and leftover shortbread cookies to snack on, and my day is complete. Coffee notwithstanding.
Intarwebs - Life just ain't fun without a specific collection of websites: Livejournal, Journalfen, YouTube, Pandora, LastFM, Writely (aka Google Docs), Vox, and
Nov 30, 2006
Playing Out The Metaphor
A while ago, I heard a good analogy that took on that old bullshit mentality that a woman who dresses provacatively is herself to blame if she is assaulted or raped. Because, hey, she's the one who decided to show off her body; men are mindless animals who can't help it if a woman turns them on. If she wanted men not to notice her, she should have covered her slutty ass up. *bitter sarcasm*
Anyway, the analogy went something like this, from a female POV: "Yes, I am dressed up in a way that shows off my body. I am advertising that I am looking for sexual attention. But like all advertising, there's a catch. If I ran a company and put up an ad that said I was looking for a manager, I wouldn't just let any fool off the street walk into my building and take the job. I'd have prerequisites and criteria that would have to be met if someone wishes to get hired. It's no different when I'm out at a party or a club or a bar. I'm advertising, but I get make the call on who gets the job."
Skimpy clothes =/= open invitation, fuckheads. Women want to attract men to them as much as men want to attract women to them, let us do it at our own discretion. But it just so happens that in our patriarchal society, the easiest way for us women to attract a man is to show off our bodies. What if men were expected to do the same? Let them feel the pressure to be lithe, chisled, muscular objects that we can leer at. Equal opportunity ogling! ;)
Anyway, the analogy went something like this, from a female POV: "Yes, I am dressed up in a way that shows off my body. I am advertising that I am looking for sexual attention. But like all advertising, there's a catch. If I ran a company and put up an ad that said I was looking for a manager, I wouldn't just let any fool off the street walk into my building and take the job. I'd have prerequisites and criteria that would have to be met if someone wishes to get hired. It's no different when I'm out at a party or a club or a bar. I'm advertising, but I get make the call on who gets the job."
Skimpy clothes =/= open invitation, fuckheads. Women want to attract men to them as much as men want to attract women to them, let us do it at our own discretion. But it just so happens that in our patriarchal society, the easiest way for us women to attract a man is to show off our bodies. What if men were expected to do the same? Let them feel the pressure to be lithe, chisled, muscular objects that we can leer at. Equal opportunity ogling! ;)
Nov 9, 2006
It's More Of A Fruitopia
Sometime back I was thinking in the shower (I get all my best revelations while in the shower, lathering my head with shampoo) and decided that it was impossible for a utopian society to last. The vision people have of a clean world with peace and prosperity is simply doomed because of one simple fact: people are not all good. Of course, people are not all bad either, but the fact that we range across both yin and yang within our species makes something like utopia a pipe dream. The world is full of good and bad, and it is our duty to accept and balance both, not to squelch one or the other out. That would cause... a disturbance in the force. ;)
I have a very Taoist approach to life sometimes.
I have a very Taoist approach to life sometimes.
Nov 8, 2006
To Our Sisters To The South
I wonder if I should take a moment to say something about the results of the midterm elections in America. I've never been very interested in politics, even of the Canadian variety. I know, very irresponsible of me. I guess I'm just a cynic at heart when it comes to politicians and the entire political process. It's easy to get disillusioned. But in any case, I am happy to see the Dems making the gains they are. It's very good to see them winning majority in the House. As for the Senate, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Republicans will win that one by a close margin, simply because the longer the decision making process takes, the more the conspiracy theorist within me jumps out and argues that dem corrupt Republicans are fudging the numbers for their own benefit. Like I said; I'm a cynic.
There is, however, one thing about these election results that truly makes me elated: Lady of the House, bitches. I'm referring to Nancy Pelosi making it as the first female House speaker. Frankly, it's about time. But they've come a long way, baby. ;)
(ETA: I was just informed that Rumsfeld has resigned. My friends seem to be quite happy with this turn of events.)
There is, however, one thing about these election results that truly makes me elated: Lady of the House, bitches. I'm referring to Nancy Pelosi making it as the first female House speaker. Frankly, it's about time. But they've come a long way, baby. ;)
(ETA: I was just informed that Rumsfeld has resigned. My friends seem to be quite happy with this turn of events.)
Sep 28, 2006
Still Undecided
I usually have an opinion one way or another about any given topic. But there is one particular item that I am totally undecided on: legalizing prostitution. I don't know what to think about it. Part of me wants there to be some sort of structure and support system for women who do work the streets, but another part of me wishes there weren't any women putting themselves in that position to begin with.
Another issue I have problems deciding on: sex. Typical Indian values + liberal opinions don't mix very well. I think I'm at the point where I would never judge anyone for being free and generous with their sexuality, but I won't judge someone for being strict and conservative about it either. It's a personal choice, really. I'm not going to begrudge someone's personal choice. There is no right or wrong with sexuality, like there is with something like racism.
There was this interesting discussion at work today at lunchtime. Near the end of the hour, it was all the younger folks (and my fifty something boss, heh) sitting around the table, talking about love, relationships, marriage, our generation, and the opposite sex. We came to a conclusion on why people our age just didn't get married (or stay married) like the older generations did; men and women aren't co-dependent on each other anymore.
Another issue I have problems deciding on: sex. Typical Indian values + liberal opinions don't mix very well. I think I'm at the point where I would never judge anyone for being free and generous with their sexuality, but I won't judge someone for being strict and conservative about it either. It's a personal choice, really. I'm not going to begrudge someone's personal choice. There is no right or wrong with sexuality, like there is with something like racism.
There was this interesting discussion at work today at lunchtime. Near the end of the hour, it was all the younger folks (and my fifty something boss, heh) sitting around the table, talking about love, relationships, marriage, our generation, and the opposite sex. We came to a conclusion on why people our age just didn't get married (or stay married) like the older generations did; men and women aren't co-dependent on each other anymore.
Sep 6, 2006
Privilege And Rhymes
I was reading a friend's post where she linked to a couple lists of privilege, one for male privilege and one for white privilege. I read through both and it was amazing to actually recongize the advantages men have simply for being men. But it was reading through the list on white privilege that really made me think. Of course, I consider myself a racial minority within my present culture. But the list that was presented seemed to focus on the type of advantages someone who is white has over someone who is black, specifically. There's a certain balance when it comes to being an (South) Asian minority. I have faced enough racism in my lifetime but I can't help but feel that my experiences pale in comparison to the challenges faced in the black community.
Another reason I know my tolerance for Christianity has decreased over the years (bad bad Smitha): a story from my childhood. When I was in grade 5 our class took a field trip to one of those education activity campsite areas. One of the teachers who was accompanying us was a class favourite, a good guy who knew how to get down to the level of children but still be firm at the same time. Anyway, there was a large cafeteria where we gathered for all our meals, and when we sat down for the first dinner, the teacher shouted out: "Everyone sing Johnny Appleseed!" All 60 of us kids immediately belted out the song, claps included. I hadn't sang the song since I had left Newfoundland 3 years ago, and it made me happy to sing it again. What was more surprising was how everyone knew the song (Ah, public school; my classmates mostly came from homes where they weren't even sure what breed of Christian they were.) and it was a nice touch to the experience.
I would never sing Johnny Appleseed today. It wouldn't foster a sense of happiness within me. I'd be thinking, "Dude... stop pushing your god on me."
Oh the lord is good to me
And so I thank the lord
For giving me the things I need
The sun and the rain and the apple seed
The lord is good to me
Johnny Appleseed *clap* Amen.
Another reason I know my tolerance for Christianity has decreased over the years (bad bad Smitha): a story from my childhood. When I was in grade 5 our class took a field trip to one of those education activity campsite areas. One of the teachers who was accompanying us was a class favourite, a good guy who knew how to get down to the level of children but still be firm at the same time. Anyway, there was a large cafeteria where we gathered for all our meals, and when we sat down for the first dinner, the teacher shouted out: "Everyone sing Johnny Appleseed!" All 60 of us kids immediately belted out the song, claps included. I hadn't sang the song since I had left Newfoundland 3 years ago, and it made me happy to sing it again. What was more surprising was how everyone knew the song (Ah, public school; my classmates mostly came from homes where they weren't even sure what breed of Christian they were.) and it was a nice touch to the experience.
I would never sing Johnny Appleseed today. It wouldn't foster a sense of happiness within me. I'd be thinking, "Dude... stop pushing your god on me."
Oh the lord is good to me
And so I thank the lord
For giving me the things I need
The sun and the rain and the apple seed
The lord is good to me
Johnny Appleseed *clap* Amen.
Aug 21, 2006
Cultural Perspectives At The Tropics
I haven't updated in a long time! This is due to the fact that: A) work is very busy these days, B) I was on vacation for a while, and C) I'm staying with my parent's for a while and their computer has an inconsistent internet connection, as well as not having any of my Favourites.
Anyway, that vacation I was mentioning? I went some place tropical with the family. T'was all good fun. But there's nothing like a Caribbean beach to make you think about the differences in how women and men display their bodies. For starters, this particular resort was mostly stocked with people of Spanish and French background. Not your typical uptight North American folk. Needless to say, I saw enough boobies to make me desensitized for life. But it was strange... I wasn't offended or uncomfortable by any toplessness there. Whereas the last time I went to Miami, the topless girl running down the beach made me uncomfortable like whoa. At first I thought it was because my parents were there too. But my parents were here too and it didn't bother me one bit. Maybe it was because I was staying in a place with different social and cultural ideas when it came to nudity or lack thereof. I was in this whole "Meh, it's just boobies." state of mind. Must be one of those "When in Rome, be a Roman." things.
Another thing I thought about; the difference in men and women's bathing suits. Had this been North America, the little girls would have been in one pieces with little bows, the young ladies in itty bitty bikinis, and all the men in long, long, baggy man-shorts. As it turned out, most of the little girls wore near replicas of their mother's bikinis, and a sizeable chunk of men eschewed from the baggy, baggy, long man-shorts, wearing short-shorts or speedos instead. I'm not exactly sure what it all means. There's the question of whether tiny bathing suits unnecessarily sexualize young girls, and the question of why on the beach only women are encouraged to show off their bodies with tight fitting clothing and men are to cover up.
I'm just going to put that all aside for now and mourn the fact that summer is almost over :*(
Anyway, that vacation I was mentioning? I went some place tropical with the family. T'was all good fun. But there's nothing like a Caribbean beach to make you think about the differences in how women and men display their bodies. For starters, this particular resort was mostly stocked with people of Spanish and French background. Not your typical uptight North American folk. Needless to say, I saw enough boobies to make me desensitized for life. But it was strange... I wasn't offended or uncomfortable by any toplessness there. Whereas the last time I went to Miami, the topless girl running down the beach made me uncomfortable like whoa. At first I thought it was because my parents were there too. But my parents were here too and it didn't bother me one bit. Maybe it was because I was staying in a place with different social and cultural ideas when it came to nudity or lack thereof. I was in this whole "Meh, it's just boobies." state of mind. Must be one of those "When in Rome, be a Roman." things.
Another thing I thought about; the difference in men and women's bathing suits. Had this been North America, the little girls would have been in one pieces with little bows, the young ladies in itty bitty bikinis, and all the men in long, long, baggy man-shorts. As it turned out, most of the little girls wore near replicas of their mother's bikinis, and a sizeable chunk of men eschewed from the baggy, baggy, long man-shorts, wearing short-shorts or speedos instead. I'm not exactly sure what it all means. There's the question of whether tiny bathing suits unnecessarily sexualize young girls, and the question of why on the beach only women are encouraged to show off their bodies with tight fitting clothing and men are to cover up.
I'm just going to put that all aside for now and mourn the fact that summer is almost over :*(
Jul 25, 2006
An Increase In Rabidity
Haven't had much to say lately. I've been busy with work. And as a friend pointed out, it's hard to rant against the subtle effects of the patriarchy in western culture when you're faced with news of the Middle East imploding :(
Anyway. This is something that's been on my mind lately. When I was younger I used to think that men and women were really different in their actions and thoughts, and that those differences had to be respected equally. But these days (ever since my feminists epiphany) I have the impression that men and women are essentially the same and should be treated as equals. And my change in thought makes me wonder if I've become a more rabid kind of feminist somehow. Seriously. Back in the day I said something like "Women can't do the same things as men, but that's okay because women are just as good as men." Now I'm more likely to say "Of course women can do everything men do!! FUCK YOU! RARR!"
I guess my problem is that I've become less tolerant of gender roles. I used to have no problem thinking something like: "Yeah, women are more emotional and men are more courageous." But now I think logic like that is bullshit. It comes from the fact that someplace somewhere on the web, I read the sentence "The differences within the sexes is greater than the differences between the sexes." That statement really stuck with me. And now I can't look at scientific research articles that talk about differences in brain activity between men and women without screaming "LIES! SECRETS AND LIES!" Sometimes I think that the media (and culture in general) like to talk about (and exaggerate) how women and men are different at their very cores. But I don't think they are. I just think we've been socialized to act different. Mostly. I'm a scientific and logical person by nature, and I can't ignore good scientific studies that show that, yes, there are some psycho-genetic differences between men and women. I don't quite trust those studies yet, but I can't ignore them either.
Anyway. This is something that's been on my mind lately. When I was younger I used to think that men and women were really different in their actions and thoughts, and that those differences had to be respected equally. But these days (ever since my feminists epiphany) I have the impression that men and women are essentially the same and should be treated as equals. And my change in thought makes me wonder if I've become a more rabid kind of feminist somehow. Seriously. Back in the day I said something like "Women can't do the same things as men, but that's okay because women are just as good as men." Now I'm more likely to say "Of course women can do everything men do!! FUCK YOU! RARR!"
I guess my problem is that I've become less tolerant of gender roles. I used to have no problem thinking something like: "Yeah, women are more emotional and men are more courageous." But now I think logic like that is bullshit. It comes from the fact that someplace somewhere on the web, I read the sentence "The differences within the sexes is greater than the differences between the sexes." That statement really stuck with me. And now I can't look at scientific research articles that talk about differences in brain activity between men and women without screaming "LIES! SECRETS AND LIES!" Sometimes I think that the media (and culture in general) like to talk about (and exaggerate) how women and men are different at their very cores. But I don't think they are. I just think we've been socialized to act different. Mostly. I'm a scientific and logical person by nature, and I can't ignore good scientific studies that show that, yes, there are some psycho-genetic differences between men and women. I don't quite trust those studies yet, but I can't ignore them either.
Jun 20, 2006
Mastery Of The Boob Tube
For your consideration: How Nice Guys Control The Remote at Pandagon. It's a great post that discusses men, women, and TV programming. It also touches on sports and that stupid Bravia LCD commercial that some people may have noticed. The comments are really thought-provoking too. All in all, a nice chewy piece for us all to mull over when it comes to implicitly marking women as inferior.
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